Crossroads

Ben felt completely unsettled. What did Lisa want to talk to him about? But it wasn’t just Lisa; it was something ‘they’ needed to talk to him about. If Min hadn’t been laid up he would have gone for a long drive to clear his head but he just had himself for company and going by his current track record that wasn’t of much use.

The weather had brightened up, the sun was shining – he decided that a walk into town, he couldn’t face the bus again, would help clear his head and give him some much needed exercise. It would also occupy the time until he met Lisa and Phil.

As Ben set off on his walk he tried to put Lisa, and the problems he suspected she had, to the back of his mind. It was a bright crisp autumn day; the trees had reached perfection in their range of colours. He decided to take the route through the park to more appreciate the splendours of the season and also to get away from the intrusive sound of traffic.

He had plenty of time and decided to sit for a while. Most of the journeys he madewere in Min and so he rarely saw how beautifulthe park could look.

It had been a cold night and a light frost covered everything, as if a giant hand had sprinkled it with sugar to preserve its perfection. The sun was shining on his bench and melting the frost, steam was rising in lazy curls up towards the sky having no purpose other than to join the clouds and to become assimilated. Ben watched fascinated.
How like his life this was, he was drifting, floating and becoming part ofthe amorphous mass. His life with Leo had been over now for about three months, it had been a mutual decision; it had just not worked out.

He had fallen back very easily into the old humdrum existence. With Leo he had felt that things were possible. He had got out his old scribblings and had even put pen to paper. Leo had encouraged him saying, ‘It’s yourself you’re letting down if you don’t do it, what is there to lose?’ He had felt then that it was possible. That he could write that novel. What was different now?

Ben thought back over the last few days. He knew that whatever was happening with Lisa she was strong enough to come through, with or without Phil.She would sort herself out and give the baby the best possible life.

His life was going nowhere. He had a job, which he did not enjoy, and some of the people with whom he worked did their best to make his working life unpleasant. He shared his life and his secrets with an ageing Mini. How sad was that? Even the lady on the bus had a life; a husband, a daughter and a dog; and a reason to go shopping.
 

He looked around him, the sun had warmed up enough to melt the frost and a patchwork of colours, in all their subtleties, had been revealed. Life is not black and white, right or wrong, it’s all the shades in between. It inspired him gave him the desire to write again. He felt that he had reached an important stage, a crossroads, in his life.
 
Old habits die hard and even though she wasn’t there he began to discuss things with Min, and this time things that were possible, not his usual cloud cuckoo musings. ‘What do you think about this for an idea Min? I’ll work out my notice at Sutherland’s, that’ll be a month. I’ll sell the house, or maybe rent it, it’s too big for me anyhow. I’ve got a fair bit saved; Sutherlands didn’t pay too badly. Then Min, we can go to France. I can rent somewhere and spend my time writing. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t but I will have tried. I could always come back and get another job. I’m sure Lise would come and visit us with the baby.’
In the distance he heard a car horn that sounded just like Min. He was sure that she was agreeing that this was the thing to do.

He realised that he had spent a long time thinking, planning his future, and that if he didn’t hurry he would be late. He increased his walking pace and arrived at the Bistro just in time, and completely out of breath.
‘Min, I am in very bad condition, too much sitting and couch potatoing. I need to change my life style!’

He went into the restaurant and Lisa and Phil were waiting for him.