I can take no credit for this work - it was written by the spirit of Rabbie Burns and I was merely the scribe.
The style I find superficially similar to his "Scots Wha Hae".
Incidentally, it's the great man's day on Friday, so get your haggis, tatties, neeps and a good malt in (if you have enough money left!).
Oli
Scots, who toiled for year on year,
Forsook whisky, fags and beer,
Lived life frugal and austere,
All to fund this day.
As you clock off for the last,
Hear the factory siren’s blast,
Every penny saved alas!
Dwindled all away.
For the bastards from the Pru,
Who beguiled and swindled you,
Flushed each banknote down the loo,
Or they might as well.
For the markets tumbled down,
Credit crunch and Gordon Brown,
All the rest went to The Crown,
Fetch a shotgun shell!
Sub-prime lending robbed your pot,
See the pittance now you’ve got,
Christ you’re better off self-shot,
Go and fetch your guns!
Scots who saved with Northern Rock,
Stand proud with your twelve-bores cocked,
Should’ve stuck to chicken stock,
Immune to bank runs.
As you pull your triggers tight,
Send yourselves to “that good night”,
Hold on to this ember bright,
Now you’re in control!
MRSA? fear it not!
Hypothermia? Not a jot!
Here’s to troubles best forgot!
To freedom of the soul!
So what is the moral wise
To this tale of sad demise?
What would be Rab’s sage advice,
Were he here to say?
Simple! Let this verse you warn,
Every Scot of woman born,
Keep your silver in your sporran,
For a rainy day.
Oli 22/01/08
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Written by Fledermaus (3470 comments posted) 22nd January 2008 |
In some countries you'd be arrested and questioned for such a poem  But from what I heard Scotland is a lot richer than England and your wealth is draining away to the south, just like how western Germany pays for the former DDR.
However, it's a Scotsman who's to blame for everything which goes wrong in the UK today.
Hope you don't want to repeat the battle of Stirling Bridge, William Wallace? |
Ah, yes...
Written by Talisker (1331 comments posted) 22nd January 2008 |
Our hard won "freedom of speech".
What was that? A very loud knock at the door!!!  |
Scots Who Toiled
Written by beatricelouise (215 comments posted) 22nd January 2008 |
Ir would be very nice if you could get the word 'advise' placed in rather than advice. It would mean a couple of changes, but I believe you can do it.
Seems like the Scots and the English are at it again.
We did read R. Burns in the Canadian schools in my day. Great poet.
This must have been a fun write for you. It shows. |
double edged, Oli!
Written by fellpony (1699 comments posted) 22nd January 2008 |
| One the one hand, the advantages of suicide, and on the other, the value of rejecting "made round to go round" in favour of "made flat to stack up". Enjoyed it. (Reminds me: I must go and buy an "honest sonsie face" for Friday. I love haggis.) |
Not anti-English!
Written by Talisker (1331 comments posted) 22nd January 2008 |
No Beatrice, Batty!
Written from a Scot's perspective, how else can I write? But anti-establishment, anti-government & anti-capitalist -NEVER ANTI-ENGLISH!
A man's a man for a' that - English, Scots or even Dutch or Canadian! Jock Tamson's bairns all.
We must unite against the common foe!
Sue, enjoy your haggis. I'll be reciting Tam o' Shanter - which I can in full from memory and "To a Haggis" - surely the best ode to food in literature!
Slainte all, here's tae us, wha's like us? Damn few (an' their a' deid!)
Oli
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Written by Phil (6951 comments posted) 22nd January 2008 |
Jeez Oli, just hearing you say you'll recite Tam O'Shanter sends shivers down my spine and brings a tear to my eye. One day, I'll have to come up there and listen to you. The spirit of an old friend lives on in those words.
Liked this very much. But for the last verse, the Morning Star might be interested. I don't think they're into saving for a rainy day - even if it's only a few grubby coins swinging around your gonads.
Phil
BTW: A good malt? I prefer it rough so it scrapes the throat on the way down. Fortunate really - as the cheaper blends tend to do that very well. I'll raise a glass to you on Friday, Oli. I'm on a rare night out - I'm sure I can slip a whiskey or two in. |
Oli,
Written by audrie (454 comments posted) 24th January 2008 |
a great poem, as always.
Fledermaus, you have got it wrong. It is the English who are being drained of money, it is all going to Scotland!
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Written by Hellcat (63 comments posted) 27th January 2008 |
I loved this - best thing I've read for a wee while.
"...anti-establishment, anti-government & anti-capitalist -NEVER ANTI-ENGLISH!" - thanks for clearing that up for everyone.
As for where the money is being drained to and from - if England's money was being directed to Scotland, why is England so reluctant to just get rid of the problem and give us independence? |
Very droll .....
Written by Bagheera (683 comments posted) 27th January 2008 |
Yes, Talisker, I too know all about sitting at the keyboard and feeling the spirit of a far better writer 'using' your fingers to say something which HAS to be said (I'm convinced my own effort "Cormac and Becuma" in the Poetry section came about in EXACTLY this fashion!)
These sentiments are obviously deep-rooted, and the poem has the "immediacy" of something which simply "poured out" all in one uninterrupted gush ... am I right?
We could argue all year about which way the cash flows between England and Scotland, but one thing is certain: less and less of it finishes up in MY personal account
The fact that GB (AND his immediate 2 or 3 predecessors) has seen fit to "pack" the benches of the ENGLISH Parliament with Scottish cronies (as well as giving Scotland the fiscal independence they required) says something about the parlous state of government in the UK in general and throughout England in particular .... can I persuade someone to read through my satirical play "Last Man Out" with this in mind??? Please????  |
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