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Poetry
The Girl Who Was Different
By DressedInPoetry
22 January 2008
For Carol.

Oh, there she is.

That girl who always wears

The same stupid clothes,

Her hair a mess,

Her makeup blotchy.

Just walk on by,

Or she’ll probably try

To say “hello” to us.

She is so weird

With her baggy jeans

And her dirty shirt

That she probably never washes.

She is so gross.

She is just so…

D. I. F. F. E. R. E. N. T.

She listens to stupid music.

She reads crazy books.

Half the time she is so

Lost in her own world.

She doesn’t even notice us.

Where is she today?

She probably missed the bus.

Can you believe it?

She’s been gone for a week.

I heard from a friend

That she was found

On her bathroom floor

(Which was probably all

Disgusting from the dirt)

With a bottle of pills

And a single sentence

On a piece of paper

(Probably torn and tattered

Just like her clothes)

Next to her.

 

All that is left

Of the girl who was

D. I. F. F. E. R. E. N. T.

Reviews
Hi
Written by maipenrai (784 comments posted) 23rd January 2008
What A very sad write this is, a story well told. 
Bernie

Written by petetheverse (164 comments posted) 23rd January 2008
Yes, 
A story well told. 
And a sad one. 
Whether this is poetry, I don't know. 
But it is certainly the scary, realistic poetry of life. 
PTV

Written by Amelia (36 comments posted) 23rd January 2008
I've read a few of your other poems, and I think this is the weakest. The line breaks were a little sporadic and the subject matter itself is overused. I know you're trying to stress the word "different," but I think you can rely on the repetition of this word to make it stand out to the reader, rather than have it in caps lock and with periods between each letter. To me, that seemed to cheapen the message. 
 
I'm really sorry, because these are all negative comments, but I promise that I really do like your poetry. This was obviously taken from real life, so I feel bad about critiquing it in this way, but I try to treat everything on this site as merely a piece of writing, when in reality, what you've created means much more to you than anyone else. 
 
Amelia

Written by DressedInPoetry (23 comments posted) 24th January 2008
Oh, don't worry about it. I like critiques; I view them as a chance to find ways to reach out to more people rather than just merely praising or bashing something, so I don't get offended easily. 
 
I definitely see what you're saying about the word "different". I really just wanted to make it different, since I like it when words do what they mean, and I put it in a format for another site that doesn't allow much font variations, so it meant basically all I could do was caps and periods. 
 
Thanks for all the reviews guys!

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