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Written by fellpony
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26 January 2008 |
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Wooden and stolid,
my granny’s sewing reels were wrapped in jewelled silks,
the loose ends neatly nipped into their nicked rims,
faded paper labels defining strength and shade.
We rolled the empties drunkenly under her velour-hidden table;
made them into tanks with matches and elastic,
or clanking snakes with pingpong heads.
Four nails and wool knitted ropes through their centres;
the play-clattered edges snagged against coarseness,
a last protest.
Where are they,
her smoothed
silks?
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"Reely" like this... Written by Talisker (1331 comments posted) 26th January 2008 | Sue. We did the same things - making "tanks" with a rubber band and pencil. Lots of clever touches "nipped into their nicked rims" - the similarity of "nipped" and "nicked" really works for me. "clanking snakes with pingpong heads" love it. "play-clattered" what do you call this when you tie two words together to make a new adjective? A really handy and perhaps under-used tactic. Nice contemplative ending too. Oli | My Written by patterjack (1429 comments posted) 26th January 2008 | .., jagged memory tells me i have done a review of this before -- but where and when my alzheimer's refuses to reveal ! Nostalgia strikes -- and i still make tanks for a grandson ! patterjack | Written by blogbrush (33 comments posted) 26th January 2008 | | Beautiful. Good to read what are often such sentimental subjects - memory, grandparents, the passing of youth - treat so unsentimentally, the melancholy withheld save for a suggestion in the final line. The language was also refreshing: at turns snappy and opaque, again resisting the cliches. Thanks. | Written by Fledermaus (3470 comments posted) 26th January 2008 | | Nice poem. What more is there to say? | Written by Phil (6951 comments posted) 26th January 2008 | Ah! (A long satisfied ah.) I know I've gone on about this before, but there are pieces that resonate, that I can really connect to - usually poetry. This is one of them - purely because I could have written this. Actually, I couldn't, but I've experienced just about all of this and it fired memory synapses long closed. Lovely feeling. It wasn't so much the descriptions of tanks, ropes or knitting, though I've done all that, but the simple 'nicked rims' and 'faded paper labels.' They conjured such clear images and other related ideas. Thanks for the lovely read. I'll leave someone better qualified to comment properly on the poetry. All I will say is, I leave this with a warm and slightly sad feeling. Phil |
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