Why do we feel impelled to seek,
the monsters lurking in our souls?
Why do we brave their caverns dark,
to prod regrets with righteous poles?
Why do we make a fool’s crusade,
within a slumbering demon’s lair?
Why infiltrate a labyrinth,
to raise the beast that’s hiding there?
Leave well alone what can be left,
to rest in peace within the mind,
the desiccated shells of sin,
should be enshrouded, not enshrined.
Oli 26/01/08
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Written by Phil (6951 comments posted) 26th January 2008 |
Do you think we're all programmed to self-doubt? -And then when we start that, every little (and large) screw up - real or imagined - clamour for attention? It's a dark place when there's no relief.
Interesting choice of word in the last - sin. Probably just a personal interpretation. Sin - for me, doesn't really exist anymore - it's that thing I was taught to keep me in line with church teachings - to stop me thinking. Oddly, when those do pop up once in a while - they're the hardest to dispell because they're programmed in and involve familial guilt.
Like very much. Easy on the tongue and plenty to think about. Actually - perhaps I'm reading in too much - but I've just connected sin and righteous.
Phil
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Some advice to remember...
Written by patterjack (1429 comments posted) 26th January 2008 |
... when lying awake early in the morning -- uncomfortably reviewing nigh on 79 years of stupid errors, surmised insults , and all those occasions where one engaged with l'esprit de l'escalier
Very concise , very neat.
patterjack |
Written by DressedInPoetry (23 comments posted) 26th January 2008 |
Ouch. Very good question. It actually makes me think, which I don't like to do very much, so well done.
I admire the structure. It's very difficult to string words together into understandable chunks while also keeping in mind a moral. To add in structure and rhyme is admirable.
Very nice. |
Written by fellpony (1700 comments posted) 26th January 2008 |
| Nailed it again Oli - there is much skill and practice behind your poetry as well as a lot of life experience. Liked it. |
Oli,
Written by audrie (454 comments posted) 27th January 2008 |
I was once told that we should shut in the dark places that every one of us has.
But then I did a meditation which made me realise perhaps we should try to bring light into those dark places
and the demons locked in there.
It's probably the only love they will ever experience. |
Written by coosh (922 comments posted) 2nd February 2008 |
| Taking aside the "desiccated shells of sin", this put me more in mind of addiction - not so much because of your own personal circumstances, but more things I remember from the past. They used to divide addicts into two: those continually drawn to an addiction and those continually trying to pull away from it - the questions you raise, however, were the same - as patterjack says, it is very "concise and neat", but I wondered if it might read better without the last verse. |
Written by beatricelouise (215 comments posted) 25th April 2008 |
Well, I for one thought this poem to be near perfect. The last verse needs to be there as far as I'm concerned.
Enjoyed very much. Even though I'm no scholar in poetry especially, I have certain likes and dislikes. This one breathed depth for me.  |
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