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Poetry
1.1
By emilio
28 January 2008
   
    The fight between a tiger and a man.
    The curtains of a King in Lust awaiting His Battle.
    The unicorns other horn.
    The Taste of a wine cut by a heavy taste of honey.
    A labyrinth playground where transactions are
    dealt with smooth smiles.
    The child's laughter during Hiroshima.
    A wave behind a wave, curtains
    with a hint of sunshine, and blood across
    the Queens porcelain cheeks.
    All these things, for our hands
    to meet.
   
                   

Reviews

Written by margarita (30 comments posted) 28th January 2008
Ok, I really like this. The images that you use are so real, they hit you. There's almost a rage in there and then the tone just demands that you look somewhere else and each time you do you get this spiralling connection to another idea. I love how you end it too. I'm not sure if I'm explaining this right but i really enjoyed it and look forward to reading more!

Written by blogbrush (33 comments posted) 28th January 2008
Can me a typical early twenties man but in every image I see sex: is this intentional? If so, the last line is curious... does it suggest simple connection/companionship is something that is only realised after sex? Great stuff, with plenty to mull over. Very much enjoyed.

Written by emilio (12 comments posted) 28th January 2008
I think margarita has a more vivid explanation of this piece. 
Sex is referred in a mysterious way, but not a realization after sex, good way at looking at it though.

Written by Phil (6836 comments posted) 28th January 2008
Okay, having thought, there are a few possible interpretations - but I'd rather not commit. I have to confess, I'm not keen on pieces where the 'meaning' is so open or vague. I guess I like to have the security that I'm reacting to what the writer intended me to react to, not some accidental happenstance. If it's the writer's intention for open interpretation - then it's a little like word association, isn't it? 
 
'The child's laughter during Hiroshima' is a striking image - but I doubt those who were there had time to smile - perhaps you're referring to others. 
 
I found the rhythm very stop start. In terms of flow, lines four and five seemed to begin a little pulse, but then it broke off again. 
 
Tried hard with this - the images are strong but for me, they need tying together more coherently. 
 
Phil
Well,
Written by audrie (454 comments posted) 28th January 2008
I have to say that I don't understand what this is about! 
 
It struck me when reading it that you have written down, over some time, lines you think are interesting and then put them all together. 
 
The individual lines are interesting, and arresting, but they don't seem to lead anywhere, for me at least.

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