Don't pick your belly button – your bum will fall off

Why did you fall? (Mmm, like I really meant for that to happen Mum)

Don't cross your eyes because if the wind changes then they'll stay like that

Don't pick your nose (but I had to get the bogies out)

Don't look at me in that tone of voice (what?)

Can you make any more noise? (Yeah especially when Dad's on night-shift I've been told)

Do you want me to make you smile on the other side of your face? (Never understood that)

Girls don't fart (really then what did I just do then?)

Always wear clean underwear in case you get run over by a bus (wouldn't you soil your underwear if you saw a huge double decker bus coming towards you?)

Why did your Mum, when you let go of her hand to attempt to cross the road just as a car went by and could've killed you, proceed to hit your butt on every single word the following mantra “WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT CROSSING THE ROAD WITHOUT ME – ALWAYS HOLD MY HAND!” (Ouch!)

How did your parents know when you had hit your brother? (ok, the bloody nose might have been a give away)

Why did your Mum always have to spit into a hankerchief and clean your face just as you were enjoying your ice-cream (thank God for today's baby wipes is all I can say for that)

Why did your Mum have to buy the most horrible tasting medicine when you had a cough. Hadn't she heard of the new strawberry flavour ones that were out at that time?

Yeah, you just leave the tidying of your room to the cleaning fairy (Never understood why Mum got mad when I said ok to this)

Money doesn't come from trees you know (yes it does, that's where paper comes from)

Shut up and eat your dinner (how can you eat your dinner with your mouth closed?)

What does NRG mean? (this is from a Lucozade advert, a joke that I still wind my Mum up about)