Great Writing - Home > Poetry > The Cailleach
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 698 guests online and 2 members online
Poetry
The Cailleach
By Veronica_Milvus
02 February 2008

Here's a piece about a Scottish crone goddess who rules over winter.  All the things I have described her as doing are part of her mythology, (at least, according to Google) including riding on the back of a wolf, and turning to stone.  I'm posting it because there's been a fair amount of snow in Scotland and it seemed seasonal.


THE CAILLEACH

Her rule begins at Samhain.   With her broom

Made of wild winds, she gathers up the leaves

And sweeps the last of summer from the land.

As old as the grandmother long ago

Who ate the apples.  And her face is blue.

With single eye she watches the bare hills

And sees the wholeness of the highland year.


In her apron there are boulders stored

And as she goes, perhaps she lets one fall

It’s this that makes the corries and the cairns.

In Faoilleach, the wolf month, she rides abroad

Bareback, wolfback, trampling new growth

Wild storms and blizzards tumble from her shawl

For she brings winter from the mountain fasts.


At the Pool of Corryvreckan she stoops down

To launder all her plaid, then shakes it out

And lays it on the hills to dry a while

Then all the world is covered in new snow

And all the grass and trees a-buried lie

This pleases her.  You might detect her laugh

Between the calls of crows among the pines.


She is the guardian of the roaming deer

She knows which stags are strong, and which to cull

And if you ask her, Hunters, they will fall

To your straight arrows, but be sure

To thank her, or when next you reach your kill

All that remains will be your arrow, stuck

Between the clumps of heather, in bare ground.


Come April, and she feels her ancient bones

To ache with all the work of winter done

She knows she must bow down, and feels the sun

Melting at the ice within her veins

She throws her staff under a holly bush

Preparing now to sleep, she wraps her cloak

Around her haggard head, and turns to stone.


Reviews

Written by maipenrai (784 comments posted) 2nd February 2008
Magical, Magical, Loved it 
Bernie

Written by Fledermaus (3470 comments posted) 2nd February 2008
Seems the Scottish aren't so creative when it comes to naming their mythological figures, calling such an interesting woman just a hag... 
 
It had a nice atmosphere, but I think it would have been even nicer with a clear rhyme. You did break off lines in strange places, but since you did so on the borders between constituents it didn't interrupt the flow too much. 
 
I liked the content and the atmosphere created, but there was something about the form that made me think it could still be improved.

Written by Phil (6951 comments posted) 3rd February 2008
Enjoyed the narrative. I don't know how much of your own invention you put into the myths - but that worked well. Something I've failed to do in the past - so I feel a bit of a fraud pointing it out - while each line is of equal length - some of the rhythms don't feel right. No advice, as I couldn't do it myself. 
 
Phil

Written by fellpony (1696 comments posted) 3rd February 2008
Aha - someone else who likes to have a stab at pentameter. Welcome!  
 
I didn't know of Cailleach as a mythological figure so this was fun to read. I echo Phil in finding some lines don't fit the metre, even if interpreted (as I tend to do) somewhat loosely. I was puzzled by "bare ground" and "heather" being in the same line with the lost arrow - how can the land be bare and heather covered? But that's a nitpick. You tell the tale smoothly and well.  
 
And thank heaven, the piece is not unskilled angst. Welcome indeed!

Written by Veronica_Milvus (745 comments posted) 4th February 2008
Thanks 
 
There is a lot of emo-heavy "free verse" around here. I'm trying to learn the discipline of some formal verse forms before I venture into an area where what I write might not be poetry at all...
Emo free
Written by patterjack (1429 comments posted) 30th June 2008
Indeed it is, and it was welcome then -- and still is !!! 
 
Perhaps over full of descriptions of her deeds and powers -(you were determined to get them all in, were you not ? ) 
 
There were some interesting echoes of half rhymes here and there. too. 
 
Commendable effort 
 
patterjack

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item