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Poetry
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Silence
By DressedInPoetry
04 February 2008

The suicidal silence

Lingers, hovers over

The entire room.

Like a deafening bomb,

It has dropped and now

It remains

Hanging

Orb-like, above

The heads of every person.

The unbridled quiet

Refuses to be slain.

No words can be spoken

To kill the relentless pause

Within this room.

 

The silence

Never broken.

It clings to everyone

Like Death written

In the air.

 

Reviews

Written by Phil (6629 comments posted) 4th February 2008
Almost didn't comment on this - as it was too hard to organise my thoughts - but I thought that unfair - so here goes. (Disorganised and rambling) 
 
I can't quite work out if you have a specific image/event in mind here or if you are just playing with words. I've been here before with other writers who invite me to interpret as I see fit. I do have an interpretation but the piece lacks, as does the one posted above, enough hints to clarify meaning. I accept that I may be wrong, but for me, any writing is about communication and on that score, either this piece or this reader has failed. I come away with ideas but no satisfaction as I'm more than aware I could be well off beam. I don't want a guessing game (nor do I want to be spoon fed.) I don't consider myself an unintelligent reader, or narrow minded in taste. I think I want that little bit more that rewards me for the efforts I've put into the reading and thinking.  
 
Phil

Written by Matthiasrising (32 comments posted) 6th February 2008
You've created such a powerful and violent image of something that can be both painfully awkward and numbingly serene. 
The line "It has dropped and now " was too choppy, though I can't suggest a fix. I'm sure you wanted that line like that. 
Reminds me of Pulp Fiction: 
"That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence."

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