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Poetry


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Roses on a Thursday

By Phil

09 February 2008

Lazy writers.

Stupid, non-PC verse for juveniles.

Roses on a Thursday darling? Something to confess?
Have your dallyings with women landed you into a mess?
Has that tart behind the bar of the local down the road
Given you something more than kisses, you dirty stinking toad?

Has your knob started throbbing when you go to take a pee
Because the juicy spots within its shaft scream out in agony?
You deserve it all, you dirty swine, I can not quite conceive,
Why I ever married you, my dear, it’s a bugger to believe.

    Roses on Thursday sweet? There’s nothing here to hide.
    I haven’t shagged the bar maid, though she’s offered me a ride.
    Your accusing tone, your lack of faith and all the words you say
    Have taken the romance out of this Saint Valentine’s Day.

Reviews

Written by Abigail (24 comments posted) 9th February 2008

I thought it was funny.

Abigail

Written by fellpony (1603 comments posted) 9th February 2008

Clever idea, started with a comic metre. Middle stanza made me squirm. Eurgh.

Although the end is apt, the rhythms got a bit knotted, mostly in the last stanza. I think it would stand an edit to sort them out.

Written by punchy (500 comments posted) 9th February 2008

Bitter and beautiful. Superb Mr Phil, another cracker and how I love the way you lower the tone!
Paula

Written by Phil (6683 comments posted) 9th February 2008

Thanks for reading. You're quite right about the rhythms, Sue. The sad thing is, I knew, tried really hard, and gave up. I think it's because I didn't want to lose St Valentine's Day.

Phil

Written by Steve_K (54 comments posted) 9th February 2008

Original but I didn't enjoy it. Last stanza was an anti-climax

Written by francoise (129 comments posted) 10th February 2008

I liked the rhyming and overall structure,something that i could learn from in my own work. But the subject left me feeling depressed. Not sure why. Maybe its because im a sucker for love poems.

Fran

Written by Fledermaus (3246 comments posted) 10th February 2008

Heheh... Nice one. Women are so un-romantic

Written by JohnFHamill (34 comments posted) 10th February 2008

This is really cool, it gives two sides of the story. The actual structure and rhyming is modelled really well. Now I want to put a poem together for Valentine's day but my poetry is sh*t! :sigh

Written by Aurora (56 comments posted) 17th February 2008

Made me laugh out loud! :grin

Like this Phil
Written by twriter (117 comments posted) 28th February 2008

So glad that you picked up the Valentine's Day hint Phil
;-) Nice, as ever, to have your contribution.

Noting really to add that hasn't been said before! I have just posted a piece for this topic...

VBW,

TW

Written by Merioneth (79 comments posted) 18th April 2008

"Has that tart behind the bar of the local down the road
Given you something more than kisses, you dirty stinking toad?"

I absolutely adore your stupid, non-PC verse for juveniles. if you've got a target audience, I'm it.

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