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| He was small | |
| By eudimonia | ||||||||||||
| 10 February 2008 | ||||||||||||
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This was written because I was put out with someone. The views expressed are not the authors! But my writing class liked it in a " I had a friend who.." fashion. He was small. His mother was small. His father was small. His brother, (smug git) was tall. He was pathetically, invisibly, small. She was tall. His instant height instinct said 5'11". She waltzed down the street on long, long, legs. Her pale skin shone in the sunlight. She stopped several feet from him. His heart pounded. "Are you alright down there?" She sounded kind, her voice quite deep. Normally he would have thought her rude, but in his present position she had a point. "Yeah, fine, no, well I'm alright, well, no." His idiotic voice rang in his head. "No, you're not fine." She giggled under her breath. Reaching into her handbag she pulled out her mobile. For a horrified moment he thought she was going to photograph his embarrassment. "I'll call 999. I s'pose you need the fire brigade." God she was cool, he thought, straight to the point. the next hour was one of the best of his life. Although the first ten minutes were extremely uncomfortable as he fought against the urge to look up her skirt. She sat next to him and they shared a fag. They talked and talked. She told him about her job, her dad was her boss (a situation she was really not pleased about.). He made her laugh. It didn't matter what they talked about. She was happy just to be listened to. He was overjoyed just to be close to a woman. When the firemen arrived he was instantly embittered toward them. The shortest of them was only 5"7', but his big, yellow, helmet made him look taller. She moved away. He tried to casually inch his head round see if she was chatting to the firemen. He couldn't see her. He felt sick in his stomach. "Would you like a coffee, tea or something?" He could hardly hold his heart in his chest. He could barely speak to the fine ankles before him. "Yeah, coffee, coffee please, black two sugars," She was back within five minutes. She had a straw for him to drink with. Kneeling down to hold the cup for him she was all cleavage and auburn curls. She was beautiful. When the firemen shooed her away she stood quietly to one side. He was impressed that She didn't seem interested in their blokey banter. A paramedic gave him a cursory once over and then they were alone. He was sat on a wall trying to steady his breathing. She knelt down next to him. He thought, If only she would stay on her knees they would be perfect together. Without thinking he stood up. She stood up. Head and shoulders taller than him. He could see the black lace of her bra through her shirt, he was looking her straight in the nipples, he was starting to get an erection. He stared down, miserably, at his shoes. He felt like a midget, about three foot tall. "Are you alright? look we could go for a drink if you like, or," she sounded nervous " Or, my flats just five minutes away." He stared at his shoes. She dropped to her knees in front of him. "Look, I"m too tall for a woman and you're too short for a man, but we could just have coffee at my place." The words tumbled out of her. Then she smiled, gloriously, and he saw it. Resting on her upper lip was a huge mole, a mole with hairs, 3 black hairs maybe half an inch long. She leaned her warm face toward him and in the moment before their lips met the bristles brushed his cheek. Memories of "Kiss your Grandma, be a good boy now." his smelly, old, bearded grandma. He recoiled, stumbled back against the wall. She was flushed, confused. She stood over him, she was really tall, heavy with it. And ginger. He glanced up, all he could see was that mole. She could stay away from him, bloody great Brunhilde. "I've gotta go, gotta make a move." His voice was barely audible. "Really, are you sure, my flats just round the corner." She whined. "No, I have to go." He felt woozy, drunken. "We could swap numbers." She tried to sound cheery, he thought she sounded desperate. "Look I can't, thanks for the coffee, ok, yeah, cheers for the coffee." He was up and off, tripping over his feet he sped down the street. He didn't look back as she called after him to take care. He wondered what time it was, would Tim and Rob have gone to the pub without him. Still, at least he'd have a story for them, of how he'd escaped the lust- driven advances of a hairy Amazon.
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