Characters:
Christina - Christina is seveteen. She's one of the only females that can pull of short hair, and still make it look incredibly feminin. When she wants somthing and wants it bad enough, she'll get it. It's just a matter of time. If her mind is made up, there's no stopping her. She's sweet, but has a temper like none other. Christina stands at 5'2 and a bit, and weighs in at 100 lbs. Christina wears her hair over her right eye. She's the emo type. But unusually happy.
David - Christina's boyfriend. David is 18 but still lives with his parents. He's attending night classes at a local college. David is about 5'9, and weighs about 170 lbs. David used to be a football player. But due to an accident and two knee surgeries, he doesn't play anymore. He loves music, and plays the guitar. He likes heavy rock music. Like Christina, he's emo. But unlike christina, he isn't always happy.
Lynn - Lynn is Christina's best friend since 9th grade. They met during a bomb threat, and started talking about how stupid bomb threats were since no one ever blows up the dang school; sadly. She has blue hair and about 10 piercings. Inculding her 4 ear piercings. She likes all kinds of music, and dresses in what ever she feels like wearing.
Mom 1 - Christina's Mom. She's quiet and reserved. Except for when Christina doesn't follow her rules, then she gets loud and angry. You can usually find her in the kitchen baking, or in the family room reading. She's your tipical mom.
Dad 1 - Christina's Dad. He's fun, energetic and loud. He's the total oposite of his wife, and loved to play active games(eg. Tag, Hide and Seek, Sardeans) with Christina when she was little. You will usually find him fishing at the local pond, or building somthing in the garage.
Mom 2 - David's mom is amazingly excepting. David could do almost anything and she wouldn't flinch. She would just deal with the problem and handle it with care, and then forgive and forget. You can usually find her baking in the kitchen, or knitting somthing by the fire place.
Dad 2 - He's quiet, caring and loving towards Christina and David's relationship, except doesn't allow them any freedom when it comes to being alone together. That is strictly not allowed in his mind. He doesn't exactly trust them very much, or rather doesn't trust Christina. You will usually find him on the computer working, or down in the family room with his wife.
02/14/2008
A new life; starting now
Written by,
Hannah Heins
"I always wanted to move in with my boyfriend. But when we asked my parents, they said no. No matter what anyone said, I was going to move in with the man I loved. So finally we just did it. We bought an apartment and moved in together. For a start, it wasn't to bad. But as we grew older and started not to care, things got rough.."
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Act I
Scene I
The curtain is drawn, and you see a classic family room with 3 people in it.
A girl, a man, and a woman. The girl looks like she's in her late teens.. The man appears to be in his late fiftys, and the woman in her mid fiftys. It appears to be christmas. They're all laughing and having a good time.
Narator - This is the Russle family. They're celebrating christmas, if you couldn't tell. Christina has always wanted to - oh wait, you don't know who Christina is yet, do you? I do apologize. This (As the narator says, 'this', a spotlight is shone down on the girl who is opening a present. She smiles and walks over and hugs her mom.) is Christina Russle. She's 17. As I was saying, Christina has always wanted to grow up, get married, and have children. She does have a boyfriend, and they do have plans to get married in a year. This is her story.
The doorbell rings.
Christina - I'll get it!
Christina rushes over to the door, and opens it. There in the doorway
stands a boy that appears to be about a year or two older than her.
Christina throws herself at him and he wraps his arms around her and kisses her gently.
David - Nice to see you too.
Christina - Oh I'm sorry babe, I couldn't help it. I just missed you was all.
David - Aw, I missed you too hun.
Mom 1 - Why don't you two come sit down? There is after all gifts for David too.
Christina smiles and hugs David again. They both walk over to the tree hand in hand, and sit down by the fireplace. Christina reaches under the tree and pulls out a gift.
Christina - Here babe, this ones for you.
David smiles and begins to carefully open the present.
David - Oh wow, I didn't expect this much. Thanks baby.
Christina- No problem. It was worth it, believe me. It was so worth it.
David- I love you.
Christina - I love you too.
End of Scene I
The curtains fall closed. And music plays while the scenery is changed.
The curtain opens a few moments later. We can see David and Christina, sitting on a bed, in what looks like Christina's room.
Christina - I just wish my parents could understand. I want to marry you, but my parents say no, everytime I ask them about it.
David - Well they probably just think you're to young to get married. I don't think you are, but, they might.
Christina - I know, but.. it's just not fair to me. I mean, I love you and I know it's really love, it's just not fair!
David - Aww, c'mere.
David pulls Christina over to him, and holds her in his arms while she sighs.
Christina - Thanks babe.
David - I love you.
Christina - I love you to. Well what if we moved in together. Then we wouldn't be married, but we would be able to live together, have children, and do all the regular marriage stuff.
David - You know, that's and idea. Would your parents let you?
Christina - I don't know. Maybe. We can ask.
David - Alright, I love you.
Christina - I love you too.
End of Scene II
The curtain closes again, and you hear music.
Then it opens again, and you see the four of them sitting at the
dinner table.
Christina - Wow mom, this tastes great!
David - I'm not suprised one bit by your mother's cooking. She is after all the best cook I know.
Mom 1 - You're very flattering dear, but no, I don't think I compare to your mother.
Christina - There you go again mom, trying to compare yourself to some one else.
David - No, i'm being serious. Sure, my mom can cook to feed us, but wow, you make it fun to eat.
Everyone laughs and christina leans over and kisses David
Dad 1 - No PDA at the table you two!
then he chuckles
Dad 1 cont. - Only hugs, light pecks on the cheek..
Christina(interupting her father)and you're VERY ocaisional peck on the lips in public, I know dad, I know.
Mom 1 - Don't mock your father.
Christina - Sorry. Can I ask you somthing? And if I do, can you promise to say yes?
Mom 1 - Well you can ask, but I won't promise to say yes..
Christina - David and I want to move in together. Can we?
Mom 1 and Dad 1 - NO!
Curtain closes. End of Scene III
David - Baby, it's alright! C'mere!
Christina - No! It's not alright, you don't understand!
David - I understand how hard it is! Cause it's hard for me too! Chris, please, listen to me...
Christina turns to look at David.
David cont. - I love you. We will move in together. Just please don't be so upset. You're making me feel like I did somthing wrong. Like I'm doing somthing to hurt you.
Christina - Baby, no! I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm so sorry. Hold me.
David pulls christina into a long, intimit hug.
Christina - As soon as I'm 18, We're buying an apartment and moving in together.
David - sounds good to me.
David and Christina walk out the door, and walk down the stairs and into the living room where christina's family is sitting.
Mom 1 - You alright?
Christina - Fine, just fine.
Mom 1 - You look.. upset.
Christina - I'm just.. annoyed. I love him, mom.
David - Don't argue with your mom babe. That's not what we're here to do.
Mom 1 - What are you here to do? Tell me somthing?
Christina - Ok, first, I wasn't going to agrue, and seond, yes. I'm here to tell you somthing.
David (in the background) - my bad..
Mom 1 - Alright, go for it hunny. I love you, and I'll except you no matter what.
Christina - We really think it's time for us to move in together. We-
Mom 1 cutting of Christina - No. Chris, you need to listen to me. You're only 17. You're about to turn 18 next month. Don't be 17 going on 27. Be 17 going into college next year. Be 17 going on 18, not 27. You need to hear me out. You're not ready.
Christina - Mom, no! Yes I am ready! I swear I am. starts to cry
David - Baby, c'mere. We didn't come here to argue, remember? Lets go to my place and chill. Otherwise you two will be argueing about this all day. Is that alright, Mrs. Slander?
Mom 1 - That sounds wonderful. Go ahead hun. I love you, I just want what's best for you.
Christina - Yeah yeah..
David - Lets go.
Christina and david exit. End of scene IV
David entering his house - Mom, we're home!
Christina stays silent. She looks around. Then she sits on the couch, and sighs.
Mom 2 comes out from the kitchen - Hey sweetheart. turns to look at christina. Is somthing wrong?
David - Not really. We just..
Christina cutting off David - We just want to get married. We want to move in together, and start our life together. Is that so bad?
Mom 2 - Oh, I get it. Well, sits down in a chair oposite of christina You see.. you're not to young to get married. I do know that. I mean, Russ and I got married at 18, and 20. But, I do know that you're not ready for the responsability yet. Give it a year, then we'll let you get married. Alright?
Christina - Yeah.. I guess.. I can't really argue with YOU, because.. well you're not my mom.
David - I love you, let's go get some pizza. Hmm?
Christina - Sure. Why not. You know, that was kind of random? But I love the randomness in you. And Mrs. Dennings, thanks so much. You helped me alot.
As the two exit David gives christina a weird look.
David - Wait, did she really help you out?
Christina - Not at all. I just said that to get out of there.
David - Yeah, same with the pizza. We don't have to get pizza. We can.. Go chill at the club if you want?
Christina - Sure! Lets go.
The club is a crazy place with a band playing on stage, and a bar off to one side of the club.
The walls are painted black, and there are lots of people dancing around everywhere.
David - Wow, this place hasn't changed a bit.
Christina - Nope. What do you wanna get?
David - Hmm, how about a dance with the one and only woman I love?
Christina - I think I could do that.
They both laugh, and walk over to the dance floor, and begin to dance.
Suddenly a big, tough looking man walks up to the couple, and tears them appart.
David - Excuse me, we were dancing!
Christina - Yeah, leave us alone!
Man - Well not anymore you're not, and I don't think I will leave you alone. You're all mine sweety pie.
The man grabs Christina, and begins to sway back and forth with her. Obviously attempting to dance with her.
David - Oh no you don't.
David pulls the kicking, violent Christina back from him. He pulls her behind him, and punches the man in the jaw. The man attempts at swinging a punch at David, but David is to quick and ducks.
Man - Get away from my girl you wackado!
David - You're girl! You're girl?!? MY GIRL!
David then goes on to kick the man, and punch him one last time before they run out the club doors, and get into David's car.
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Written by Levi (31 comments posted) 15th February 2008 | Hey
So... I get the idea here and the the strong themes of adolescent desire, responsibility and parent-offspring conflict regarding young marriage would work well on-stage. But - considering this is marked as the end of act 1, nothing actually happens in these few scenes - you've introduced the characters and the relationships between them, but you finish the act in the same situation as the beginning - with two young lovers unable to get married due to their parents wishes. THIS is how your script needs to begin from scene 1 and needs to be highlighted from the offset. Then at the end of act 1 you need a turning point in the narrative to up the drama - maybe Christina and David are being deliberately forced apart by her parents, or they show some intention to take their plans to the next level - by deliberately (and dramatically) disobeying them. So, yeah, nice themes and characters and everything and I look forward to reading more... just run with it. Make everything bigger, stop everything being so nice and comfortable. And, structurally, consider removing the unecessary narration at the beginning, and BEGIN your script on the final scene of this act - where the actual drama kicks off.
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Written by Roarscream (10 comments posted) 19th February 2008 | I tend to agree with Levi.
You could almost take out everything prior and just start it right with the drama. It'll get people emotionally involved from the very beginning. However, don't feel like you have to if you don't want to.
The best part of drama is making your character's believable, but sometimes also a little bit over-the-top (thus making the character "dramatic"). Your main characters are fine, Chris is a perfectly lovable,simple girl in love and she's fine
Im thinking though that you should at least make one of the mom's not just opposed to this, but violently opposed to it. Or a dad. Either way, it would create more of a since of family strife. Cuz in real life, when the parents said no it wouldn't be sweet. It'd probly end up in both sides getting into a huge argumenta nd fight.
The story so far is compelling and I find myself wanting to find out what happens. Sounds great so far, keep it up! |
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