It had been at least a year since Ken had visited Amsterdam and he had never passed the alleys Yingying guided him through. The facades were painted a dark green and looked a little like those of English pubs, were it not for the 'shop windows'. The displays were roughly the size of a phone booth and they were framed with red curtains. Their insides were illuminated with reddish lamps or fluorescent black light.
The women weren't more naked than the average visitor of a seaside resort, but it was the lack of shame they displayed that made him feel uncomfortable. They leant against the glass and looked at the passers by while they showed them their half naked bodies.
Yingying looked at him and chuckled.
" What's so funny?"
" Your face. You've never been at the Wallen before, have you?"
" Never in those alleys no."
" They won't bite you."
" It's not that. It's just so strange."
He looked at the girls in their underwear and shook his head. Many of them were younger than himself, probably Yingying's age or maybe even Pearl's. Eighteen, nineteen, twenty at most.
An old man studied one of the girls carefully and a middle-aged woman appeared in the doorway. She was dressed too sexy for her shape and beckoned him.
" Want to come in?"
Her voice was calm, friendly and casual, as if she was selling cookies.
" I hardly notice them anymore", Yingying said, " Do you think they are pretty?"
He saw how the old man entered and wondered if the girls could hear her. Then he shook his head. He had expected to be either excited or disgusted, but he was mainly surprised and a little saddened. It was all so strange. On the one hand it was typically Amsterdam, but on the other hand he wondered why these girls had to earn their money in such a way or, for that matter, why men would pay to sleep with them.
They rounded a corner and suddenly entered yet another world. Here there were no bordellos or sex shops. Instead of half naked women, the windows showed roasted ducks and all sorts of kitschy artifacts. The signs were all in Chinese and he could smell the spices.Yingying walked straight to one of the many restaurants and pushed open the door.
They were greeted by a smartly dressed waiter and after a short conversation in Chinese -Ken guessed it was Cantonese- he showed them a small table with two seats and put down a notebook and a cheap ball-point.
Before he could take her coat, Yingying had hung it over her chair and gestured him to sit down.
He looked at the menu and saw that again everything was in Chinese.
" What do you like to order?", she asked him, and she looked at him.
He shrugged.
" I don't know. You choose, OK?"
" Alright."
The waiter brought them their tea and Yingying ordered some dishes. As he walked away again, she took the pot and poured the tea in their cups.
" So how is your Singaporean sister?", she asked, " Is she still at your place?"
He nodded.
" I can't sent her to our parents' home now can I? She's too emotional and she would be all alone."
" When are your parents going to come back from holiday?"
" Next week."
" And all this time you are going to sleep on the couch? How old is she? Fifteen, sixteen?"
" Seventeen, almost eighteen."
" Really? And this is the first time a guy stood her up?"
" Her father is very protective. She is the only person he had until he met my mom. I think it was the first time she even had a crush on someone."
" Poor girl. They always pick the wrong ones, don't they?"
" You're talking from experience?"
She looked away and smirked. Then, after a short pause, she nodded.
" Yes... I think I am not so different from your sister... But let's talk about a happier subject. Do you know when the Golden Avenger film is going to be released? Maybe we can go there once it's out."
She looked at him and he felt a strange sensation inside his belly, which had nothing to do with the scent of the dish the waiter was bringing.
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Written by bluecity (373 comments posted) 17th February 2008 |
Hey, I can't keep up with you! In the last episode, you said you were stuck! I think you got unstuck very quickly! So, you've answered one of my questions. We're in a Chinese community in the Netherlands. So your characters are talking through translation. Difficult! Your descriptions of Amsterdam are very evocative, tell me what the place is really like, and you also developed your character (Ken) by telling us about his reactions to the Red Light District. Also, we start to learn why his sister is there with him. And, is he younger than the sister? That is what is inferred towards the end? ("Her father is very protective. She is the only person he had until he met my mom.") He doesn't act younger. This is a great chapter. There's a great deal here and you've covered it all extremely well. Rosemary
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Written by Fledermaus (3246 comments posted) 17th February 2008 |
Hi Rosemary. Oops. I must have caused confusion. I imagined him somewhere in his mid twenties while Pearl is seventeen (and Yingying somewhere in her early twenties). I meant that Pearl's father had no-one else to care for or to love but Pearl before he met Ken's mother. Thanks for your comment  |
Hi Fledermaus Written by jean.day (2266 comments posted) 17th February 2008 |
I agree with Rosemary that the book really took off on this chapter. It set the scene, told a lot about the characters, and left us with anticipation. Good job. I can remember visiting the Wallen about 12 years ago, with Philip. I didn't remember that the girls had underwear on - but maybe that was because so much was revealed that it didn't seem very functional. I was nervous about the whole experience, but not disgusted. We saw quite a few men going in, but nobody approached Philip, I suppose because he was with me. But it worried me that it was so close to the church. |
Written by Fledermaus (3246 comments posted) 18th February 2008 |
Thanks Jean. The day before I wrote this chapter I went to Amsterdam, and walked the same route as the characters. The shortest way between the Central Station and Chinatown is straight through the Red Light District. Personally I feel a bit like both characters. I can't imagine such work being anyone's favorite career choice and I do wonder what sad stories there must be behind all that 'business'. Meanwhile it has been like that since medieval times and it could be that because it's done so openly in Amsterdam, it might be controlled better than elsewhere. Like Yingying, I'm not that bothered by them, but like Ken, I do think it's strange. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3331 comments posted) 19th February 2008 |
You've made up for lost time here; this was packed with exposition and context. The detail and atmosphere were vivid and realistic,especially the description of Chinatown. The dialogue was very revealing [beware of making it too expository, you want to try and camouflage the information] There were some nice touches between them,though. Dialogue is an insight into character,dont' forget to give them individual voices. Take time off and really think through your characters For instance if instead of :- " They won't bite you." " It's not that. It's just so strange." he had said "No you pay extra for that" It would tell you a lot about him in one sentence. It would have showed a bit of wit. Dialogue shows character. Decide on your character and show it in speech. Don't lose sight of the theme "Gallant Knight" I want to see how he measures up Still enjoying it
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Written by Fledermaus (3246 comments posted) 19th February 2008 |
Thanks Jane. That's some good advice. It really helps when the writer knows more about what exactly he is writing eh ? Indeed I shouldn't hurry. |
Written by Phil (6683 comments posted) 20th February 2008 |
Yes. This is the first part -aside from the very first - where the story seems to take shape again. Important that you maintain that. I'd endorse Jane's comment 100%. Thought the best touch in this was that Ken, though Chinese, couldn't read Chinese script. A very nice touch and a bit of social commentary. Thought Ken's reaction going through the Wallen was a little unrealistic perhaps - but I guess he is supposed to be gallant. You may have a problem there. Gallant he may be - but perfect he can't be. Coming on much better. Phil |
Written by Fledermaus (3246 comments posted) 21st February 2008 |
Thanks Phil. Why would his reaction be so strange? I don't think it's so different from my initial reaction to that place: It's typically Amsterdam and a great tourist attraction, but on the other hand, I wondered why those girls would sell their bodies for a few euros or why people would get so excited by a few girls in their underwear. I do have certain reasons for Ken not knowing any Chinese (written or spoken). Will become clear later Just have to watch out he isn't becoming a Mary-Sue indeed though. |
Written by Lizzy (790 comments posted) 23rd February 2008 |
Liked the descriptions in this and their journey from the red light district to Chinatown was very interesting. Is there a large Chinese population in Amsterdam. I would like to know a little more about Ken's background. He can't speak Cantonese, can he speak Mandarin? Is his mother Chinese or is she from the Netherlands? Lizzy |
Written by Fledermaus (3246 comments posted) 24th February 2008 |
Thank you Lizzy. There is a relatively large Chinese population in the Netherlands, mainly in Rotterdam and Amsterdam. Because of the ideas I get from people's suggestions, I wish I had thought of the question you ask before. In chapter 2, Ken seems very Chinese (cooking a hot meal for breakfast, eating with chopsticks from a bowl etc), yet a clash of civilizations would cause an interesting conflict. So far I imagined him as an overseas Chinese or an Eurasian who integrated so much that he lost a part of his background (yes, he is becoming a Mary-Sue indeed ). I guess I should really take a short break from this story, for it seems I'm writing myself into a corner with it... |
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