|
By NathanRoberts
|
|
18 February 2008 |
Written as a song lyric. It's tongue in cheek, though the melody is quite touching...
You said you wanna know
why I never write a song
about you
Maybe it's because
so many feelings are undone
I don't want
some drawn out verse
to pin us down...
and I can't write a chorus anyhow
(bridge)
How could I write a middle eight
in such an apathetic state?
Always tryin' to find my way back
home again
You said you wanna know
why I haven't wrote a song
for so long
Maybe it's because
so many meanings have been sung
I don't want to trivialise
what's going on
And I don't want the world to sing along
(altogether) I don't want the world to sing along
no, I don't want the world to sing along
(repeat to fade)
|
Written by Veronica_Milvus (749 comments posted) 18th February 2008 | | I think this works pretty well as song lyrics. It's the antithesis of Elton John's "your song". I hope it has music to go with it. |
Written by Phil (6959 comments posted) 18th February 2008 | Veronica's comment about EJ is a good one.
Phil |
Written by Aurora (67 comments posted) 18th February 2008 | I like the idea behind the lyrics, but even though the song is about how you don't need a chorus and middle eight, I think your layout could use one to give the song some structure. But thats just my opinion!
I always find it hard to really take on board lyrics without music, have you put anything on myspace as i would be glad to give it a listen
Keep writing, the world can never have to many songs!  |
Written by NathanRoberts (277 comments posted) 19th February 2008 | Thanks guys,
Yes I've also written the melody etc. The structure becomes clearer when you hear it I guess. The 'middle eight' bit is of course a middle eight! So the structure is verse/bridge - middle 8, verse/bridge, coda. It doesn't have a traditional chorus but the long coda is meant to be a tongue in cheek singalong.
There's no direct Elton influence (or should that be Bernie Taupin?) but I guess it's in the tradition of 'self conscious' songwriting.
Cheers! |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3566 comments posted) 19th February 2008 | I liked the title and thought it would work well as a song. Song lyrics work best when they are fairly simplistic and straightforward and allow the music to add the drama and emotion. I liked the theme of it too especially
"And I don't want the world to sing along"
Very original and quirky and subverts the conventional theme. I imagined it as a country and western song, not sure why. I think it was that line. Perhaps if you made that the dominant theme,but then it's Your Song,[oops back to Elton again, sorry] |
Written by NathanRoberts (277 comments posted) 19th February 2008 | Thanks Bottleblonde,
Thoughtful comments as expected.
Isn't 'I don't want the world to sing along' the dominant theme already though? 'I don't want the world to sing along' because that would trivialise the relationship..(the blatant irony being it ends as a simple singalong song)
Doesn't really matter of course...it's only rock 'n' roll.
I'm not sure what genre it falls into...the melody/harmony bear some comparisons to the Velvet Underground's lighter slightly comical tunes but all this is of little consequence on a poetry site  .....
Thanks for listening! |
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register. Powered by AkoComment 2.0! |
Previous item
