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Poetry
Done Man
By Talisker
19 February 2008

“I am a done man John”, his final thought

whisper-croaked and then his time was done

no Wilde wit, no Joyce-ian flair was got

nor word of comfort for a grieving son.

 

His bluish shell remained to mock the light

a shrivelled chrysalis of dowdy moth

I never saw his wretched soul take flight

the sum of him remained beneath the cloth.

 

Oli 19/02/08

Reviews

Written by Fledermaus (3159 comments posted) 19th February 2008
Gloomy. What happened to Oli the comedian? It's very different from your usual style, but a good poem.
Thanks Batty
Written by Talisker (1300 comments posted) 19th February 2008
The tears of a clown I suppose  
 
Oli :cry

Written by Veronica_Milvus (455 comments posted) 19th February 2008
That's terrific though. Very powerful and big on realism. I like the moth metaphor very much, and the feeling that Death is the End.

Written by Phil (6387 comments posted) 19th February 2008
Crikey, Oli. I hope you don't come across too many of those at work. 
 
There's a passage I've always admired in Catch 22. A very long time since I've read it. Aboard the plane, Snowdon (I think) lies dying in Yossarian's arms. One of the lines goes something like: the spirit gone, man was matter. Also links with Piggy's death in Lord of the Flies. Ralph wept for the end of innocence etc....  
 
The second verse and especially hose three words: of dowdy moth, put this in a similar category.  
While the first may be more poetic (I don't really know - it just has the poetic references) the second carries power, depth and a common, universal understanding. 
 
As ever, Oli - superb. 
 
Phil. 
 
PS.Good job the first line wasn't: 'I'm a Donne man, John.' - I reckon he'd be sorely disappointed.

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