Criz: I wanted to thank you for agreeing to come on the show, especially after our last tragic encounter, you know where you killed my nephew.

Death: Well, he had it coming.  He was a rather annoying little toad.  I didn’t think anyone that dumb should live.

Criz: Well, I hear where you’re coming from.  They did call him Stone for a reason.

[Both laugh]

Death: I understand you posted the text of the interview on some British website. 

Criz: True, www.greatwriting.co.uk, it got a lot attention, well over a hundred readers and several comments by other writers.

Death: The article made me look a little foolish don’t you think.

Criz: Well…

Death: I mean the whole clown thing.  And now to have it published for the whole world to see?  I feel my reputation slipping away.  How did it come to this?   I have worked really hard to …, my reputation, the good of the profession, all unraveling.  This is just …

Criz: Would you be more comfortable if I took your scythe, you are looking a little jittery.

Death: You know, your whole family really ticks me off.  Your nephew makes me look like an idiot and now you …

Criz: Perhaps we should call this a wrap.  Wow, it is getting late.

Death:  What are the other angels going to say?   Oh, this is humiliating.  I should have never agreed to this interview.

Criz: Look, let’s take a deep breath and relax.

Death: What???  Are you making fun of me?  Hey, look at the guy who has no lungs. 

Criz:  No, of course not.  I was just … I mean… Look there is no reason to get upset. 

[silence]

Criz: If you like I can remove the story from the web site. 

[silence] 

Criz: Uhm---do you know what Phil said about you?

Death: ---Who is Phil?

Criz: One of the writers at greatwriting. 

Death: Go on.

Criz: After reading the transcript he said ---uhm--- He made references to Pratchett. 

Death: Oh, Pratchett, Pratchett Pratchett, if I ever hear that name again. 

Criz: Yeah, and Phil.

Death: Phil?  Oh yes.  What was it that Phil said?

Criz: that “it’s difficult to see beyond Pratchett when it comes to Death”.

Death: Hmmm.  So, Phil is having a hard time seeing “beyond Pratchett”.  I think I can arrange an informational meeting. 

Criz: And I would also like to point out what bottleblondesurfer was also a little critical.

Death: Another writer?

Criz: Yes.  She said that your “Character wasn’t strong enough”. 

Death: My character?

Criz: Really, who is bottleblondesurfer to question your character?

Death: She really said that?

Criz: I’m afraid so. 

Death: That really hurts my feelings.

Criz: Well, I didn’t know Death had feelings.

Death: Idiot.  Who doesn’t have feelings? 

Criz: Right.  And remember who hurt those feelings, Phil and bottleblondesurfer.

Death: Is bottleblondesurfer a guy or a gal?

Criz: I assumed by the name that it was a gal.  I mean it isn’t typical that a guy would refer to himself as a bottle blond.  After all…

Death: It doesn’t matter.  I think I have a busy night ahead of me.

Criz: And I don’t want to waste another moment of your valuable time. 

Death: Later.

[silence]

Producer: Okay, you can breathe now, he’s gone.

Criz: That was close.  Do you think we should call Phil or Bottleblondesurfer, let them know what’s coming?

Producer: And ruin the surprise?