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Shorts
Her Last Wish
By bloodange77
26 February 2008

Ha, Ha death.


 "Help!" she cries on the inside.
 But no one can hear her silent cries for help. She wants help so badly, but can't ask. As she reaches for the glass, a tear travels down her face. She puts it to her arm in search of a release. She knows it will only cause more stress. She longs to scream and cry out to someone. She wishes someone would help but can't ask.
 "Will no one save me?" she screams the question.
 But it's only her mind screaming. She is crying silently to herself, alone in her room. She has no one, so she figures this cutting pain is the way to survival. As she slides it against her arm, and the blood begins to drip. She cries harder, but she's still so quiet.
 "No one is coming!" a negatie voice whispers inside her mind.
 The blood moves quickly down her arms. She's still so...alone. Alone, cold, and broken. Her mind shattered, her anger raw. But the cutting numbs all of that, she feels nothing. Slowly, the numb is replaced by happiness. A false happiness, but it's better than pain. 
 Better than pain was an understatement to her. She couldn't help but feel there were better things than this life. She takes the easy way out. Cutting, now her personal release.

 Inside she was screwed, on the outside she looked fine. Inside her mind, her screams echoed.

 "Someone help me before it's too late!" she cries.

 She knows no one can help her. She has to try. Try and shout loud enough to be heard. There was only one problem, she only screams in her head. Like never before, she screams as loud as she can in her mind. Louder than her conscious could.
 Her mother knocks on the door," Honey, I'm going to work now."

 All alone, she's all alone in this world. No one knows her, no one cares. But someone has to care. At least someone. But in her mind not a soul cares for a troubled girl.

 Finally, her sobs break loose, wracking her entire body. She's shaking harder than ever before. Each slice a bit deeper and trembling. Each sob quivers. She screams outloud now, but it's too late. She's all alone now. All alone in a big empty house. She's bleeding pretty bad now, almost all her blood lies in a pool beneath her fingertips. Yet she keeps slicing. As deep and long as she wants. She knows if she doesn't stop she'll bleed to death.

 But she doesn't care, the blood is comfort to her. Her mind begins to ease, it's screaming. Her slicing continues though. Someone had finally cracked her mind.

 She starts losing all feeling of her body. She can't tell if she's still slicing anymore. Can't tell if she's even holding the glass. Can't think or even move. Her vision blurs, everything becoming one. Darkening into one solid color. Black.

 She hears her bedroom door open and focuses on it. Her vision clearing for a moment, enough to give her a glance. She thinks she sees her mother, but it's not her mother. It was Death, come to collect her. She realizes now that she is dying.

 "Wait," she whispers," I need to tell my mother."

 "It's too late," Death says coldly.

 "Please," she begs.

 He seems to be amused, and lets her have her way. It's a short, simple, and sweet good-bye.
  To the mother,
  Who never knew.
  I wish it were different,
  But it isn't and can't be.
  I love you still,
  Please love me too.
  This is one last, sincere,
  Good-bye. 
 Death takes her by the hand, and leads her away. Takes her to find a new life. For when you die and are reborn, you forget. You forget the pain, if you are lucky, your soul never remembers.

Reviews

Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 27th February 2008
You strike me as relatively young - not for the style of your writing, but for its themes and emotional maturity level. This is written as if suicide has some kind of noble allure. It doesn't. It's just a tragic waste of life; no more, no less. There are many pieces on the poetry forum that also seem to almost glorify in self destruction. Almost all are inward looking. Sure, life's crap at times, really crap - but death is worse. 
 
Sorry to sound so negative. It's not that you don't have any writing skill. Parts of this made me squirm a little - so effective. My personal opinion - and I've been wrong plenty times before - is that you should write about something more outward. It could still be dark, it could be even still be about suicide. But please - this portrayal of suicide as a relatively easy get out does not reflect your ability.  
 
Age brings experience and a knowledge that it can get worse - but so far, it's always got better too. 
 
Phil

Written by Asferthecat (834 comments posted) 27th February 2008
A poignant ending. The love she feels for her mother at last reveals itself - but too late to save her. 
 
A lot of adults are very worried by suicidal feelings in the young. Personally I can understand cutting and the realease of tension and the flood of endorphins it produces. I cannot understand the level of despair that would lead to suicide. 
 
Creative writing such as this channels those feelings and helps others understand.

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