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Broken Pieces
By Hayfa
27 February 2008

Hey everyone!... I'm back!...I've had so much coursework to do, I didn't have time for poetry..! Well, this poem is about needing someone to be there through the hard times, but sometimes, that certain someone isn't there.. When I first wrote this poem, I really didn't know how to phrase it, nor how to convey the message across in a clear, eloquent way. I know it seems complex, but really, it's simple: Just be there.
I hope you like it!.... Thanks... x x


 

I tried to look into the moon’s eyes

and see what wonders it hides

But all I saw was dense ties,

ties of woes and deafening cries

 

Hearing the silent cry in the distant

makes the stars lose their unique twinkle

And the darkness of the night sky blatant

longs for one to see its bleeding tears crinkle

 

Leaving their mysterious trail behind

with the broken pieces left to shine

Shining so bright they show despair

hoping one day I will always be there

Reviews

Written by Matthiasrising (32 comments posted) 27th February 2008
You seem to appreciate the apparent sadness laced throughout the universe. 
I've heard of looking into the eyes of the sun, but not the moon before. I was always under the impression the man in the moon smiles back. I'm mostly joking, but I did like the expression of sadness where many see a cheerful or positive expanse in the sky. 
The rhyme in the second stanza seemed a bit forced.

Written by Fledermaus (3248 comments posted) 27th February 2008
It flows well and it rhymes. Interesting observation. When I look at the moon I usually think it radiates strength and beauty rather than sadness. But then, everyone is different.
Thanks Matthiasrising and Fledermaus
Written by Hayfa (22 comments posted) 27th February 2008
Thanks for your comments... I just thought I'd explore the 'other' side to the moon, rather than just refer to the moon as optimistic kind of image, which I think is probably over-used...!  
 
Thanks  
 
x x :)
DSOTM
Written by Matthiasrising (32 comments posted) 27th February 2008
The dark side of the moon? 
Hayfa you make a good point. 
 
Remember...there is no dark side of the moon. As a matter of fact, it's all dark.
Thank you Matthiarising...!
Written by Hayfa (22 comments posted) 28th February 2008
I don't know whether you meant that metaphorically the moon is all dark, or realistically...! 
 
But thanks x

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