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Shorts
The ballad of sir Haluin
By Fledermaus
27 February 2008
Another one based on a Medieval Dutch story...

The princess guided her steed gently along the narrow path through the woodland. The closer she got the more quiet the forest's noises became, as if they were waiting for that which brought her here.

The blackbirds refused to sing and the wind had ceased blowing. The leaves above her head seemed to be carved out of gold, so still and motionless they were on this windless moment. Even the water of the lake seemed silent and smooth like a mirror.

The only sound was that could be heard was that of her mount's hooves upon the sandy road.

Then she felt the tremble in the air. Tenderly it touched her eardrums and there it began to swell, until she could make out the words. It was sad ballad, full of longing and passion. His voice embraced her and forced her to the clearing, where he sat.

As he was interrupted by the soft noises of one too impatient to wait, the troubadour looked at her and smiled.

" Greetings fair maiden, with your lovely hazel eyes."

She blushed and cast down her gaze.

" I came to seek you, Haluin, for I long for your voice."

" So do many, dear maiden. Come, let us ride together and tell me about yourself."

Thereupon he mounted his own horse and they rode side by side through the wood and the meadows. They talked about a hundred things, and more than a few times the princess had to chuckle about his wit and stories about mischief and knavish tricks.

He listened to her stories and she felt comfortable riding with this handsome minstrel. Why would her parents and sister not allow her to ride with him? He seemed such a sensitive and charming man.

They passed farms and hamlets, rode through fields with waving grass and crossed shallow streams, yet however beautiful the scenery was, it was naught compared to the man's voice. Now it was as soft as a summer breeze, then as strong as a bronze bell, yet always it seemed to touch her...

The sun was already high up in the sky when she heard the cries of ravens. Their noises were rough and shrill compared to the sweetness of the singer's voice, and somehow she felt as if she was woken from a dream. A foul smell sought its way to her nose and she swallowed a lump.

" Perhaps we'd better take another road, Haluin. I dislike the scent of this place."

" Let us ride just a little further, oh maiden, so you can find out what brings forth this fragrance."

They rounded a corner and she saw a gruesome scene.

In the middle of the field gallows were erected and from them dangled several corpses. Some were hardly more than skeletons, rotting carcasses held together by their clothes and rotting flesh. Others were still beautiful even in their death.

" Dismount maiden", he said, and his voice was now cold and harsh.

" What is this?"

" Don't ask questions. Since you are a princess, I shall give you a choice the others did not have. How do you prefer to die?"

The princess looked at the bodies and shivered. Then she stared at the minstrel and straightened herself.

" If so, I shall choose the sword."

The troubadour nodded and unsheathed his blade.

" You'd better take off your shirt though", she said, " for a maiden's blood makes dreadful stains."

He grinned, stabbed the blade into the ground and pulled his shirt over his head.

Then the princess quickly grabbed the hilt and with all her strength, she hew at the man, entangled in his own clothes. It was not a maiden's blood that coloured them red though, but a murderer's.

The head screamed in pain and anger, even though it was separated from the rest, but soon it's shouts fell silent.

The maiden picked it up and washed in a nearby brook. Then she mounted her horse again and rode back to the castle. There a feast was given for the princess' safe return and the severed head of the minstrel was placed upon the table as a trophy.

 

Reviews
Hi Fledermaus
Written by jean.day (2327 comments posted) 27th February 2008
Gosh, what can I say after that. You led us so gently into what was going to be a romance, to end up with such a grusome conclusion. But very well written. 
 
A few minor points - in the first sentence, I think it should be, "waiting for that which - rather than that what. 
 
In the middle of the field gallows....some were hardly more ( than ) skeletons.  
 
Have you thought of making a book out of your collected legands and stories?

Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 27th February 2008
Thanks Jean.  
I corrected the errors. 
The story is based on the ballad of "Heer Halewijn". In that, the princess asks her father, her mother and sister permission to seek this minstrel, but they forbid her to go. Her brother though tells her she can do whatever she wants as long as it's not dishonorable. 
Then comes the part described above (be it in poetry and less words). 
 
A different age hm... 
 
It'd be an idea indeed, to collect old Dutch stories, for it seems many are not really well known. Both Lancelot of Denmark as well as this one, I only know because we had to read them in high school...

Written by bitraker (15 comments posted) 27th February 2008
 
 
sir haluin? - why sir when she is a princess - did i miss something? 
 
i get the feeling you are pushing the princess to the end simply for effect

Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 27th February 2008
Hi Bitraker. 
The ballad is called "heer Halewijn", which would translate either to something like "lord Haluin" or "Mr. Haluin", yet somehow "Sir" seemed to fit better, not as in a noble title, but rather as in a way to address... 
 
The ballad doesn't put in too much detail about how romantic and great the minstrel is though, but they summarize it in the first two lines: 
 
Sir Haluin sang a little song, 
And everyone who heard it wanted to be with him. 
 
 

Written by Asferthecat (851 comments posted) 27th February 2008
This was slow to start. Perhaps we could be told that she was looking for this legendary minstrel, against the advice of her parents - it would add a bit more dramatic tension at the start. Also there seemed no reason for her to be a princess, it seemed a bit too "fairy story". 
"She swallowed a lump" read strangely - it's usually "she had a lump in her throat." 
"the more quiet the forest's noises became, as if they were waiting for that which brought her here." also read strangely. Perhaps it could be shortened to - the quieter the forest became, as if it was waiting. 
Having said all that, this is a fantastic story. If there are more Dutch ballards like this they should definitely be better known. 
I also like your stories where you bring real history to life and feel there would be a market for these in education - which must be a very lucrative area. 

Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 27th February 2008
Thanks Asferthecat. 
I'll have a look at the sentences you mention.  
As to why she's a princess: I don't know. In the Middle Ages there weren't any princesses in the Netherlands, so why she's referred to as "a king's child" in the ballad I don't know. 
:) 
 

Written by Lizzy (822 comments posted) 1st March 2008
I like the contrast between the beauty of the beginning and the horror of the end. 
 
A severed head as a table decoration gross! 
Lizzy

Written by Phil (6845 comments posted) 1st March 2008
I think you can get away with narrative short cuts in a ballad, but not a story. While it was an entertaining read, issues of motivation and back story were absent, for example. Not there in the ballad possibly, but you could embellish. 
 
Phil

Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 3rd March 2008
Thanks Lizzy and Phil. 
Lizzy: Indeed it is! But that's the Middle Ages eh? 
 
Phil: I know. This isn't a ballad, just based on one. I could have put in more back story indeed, as the girl was warned thrice, but then, this was more surprising I hope.
Promising beginning
Written by ianhobsonuk (169 comments posted) 6th March 2008
I like stories with princesses and swords etc, and this one has a promising beginning, but I felt that the ending let it down, i.e. the trick with the shirt was too easily played. A few typos: The only sound was that could be heard; It was sad ballad; let us ride together and tell me about yourself. 
 
Ian

Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 6th March 2008
Thanks Ian. 
In the ballad the head keeps talking a little longer after it has been severed and the princess happily shows it to sir Haluin's mother, but I thought both these things a bit unrealistic... :)

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