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Poetry
Entry -- Alcopops and Pringles
By patterjack
28 February 2008
Would the blessed Khayyam be as eloquent with an alcopop and a tube of Pringles? A virtual PRIZE for anyone who can pull that off.

So said Veronica. 

I saw it as a sort of challenge, so here goes; but I doubt this effort will achieve immortaility.

So far I have failed miserably in making an anacreontic on the theme.  I am pretty firmly an iamb  man --spondees are possible-- trochees  are a bit beyond me.

I had fun, though



Alcopops  and Pringles


Grip tight the can ,  hook  finger into ring;
lift up the metal tab with wristy swing;
pull firmly back towards  your panting breast;
anticipate the pleasures this will bring .

Hold up the vessel as a dedicated priest;
hear the slight hiss as gases are released;
savour this sacred moment above the rest
knowing how soon your thirst will be decreased .

Gently, ah gently! bring it to your lips;
suck softly, but with frequent flavoured sips;
live in the moment, in alcoholic quest,   
forget what the sugar's doing to your hips.

And there beside the frosted dripping can
contributing to your epicurean plan
stand  tubes of chips of salted  crisp delight  
to enhance the moment that you just began.

Feast on ! Who cares if rivulets begin
to dribble slowly down your dampened chin
while flecks of  chips pattern a speckled sight.
Enjoy your aleatory hours of sin!

We need  no more than Alcopops and Pringles
as body and soul fill with  delicious tingles.
It may be wicked, but our cares take flight
as flavour with flavour happily intermingles!  

Reviews
tongue firmly in cheek, eh?
Written by fellpony (1603 comments posted) 28th February 2008
but then, if others can write in apparent praise (or under the influence) of chemical cocktails, why shouldn't you equally offer us praise of simpler compounds? It made me chuckle, anyway.
Water.
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 28th February 2008
Nice work Brian. Buckets of unpretentious fun. Has me asking myself why you can do it and others manifestly can't. Must be something in the water. Yup. Must be the water. Water. There's your answer. 
 
Slan!

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3331 comments posted) 28th February 2008
I'm just wondering if this is a subtle comment on the site. After reading all the serious soul-searching subjects on the forum, written in simplistic puerile english with no thought for structure,it was great to read something that turns the process on its head. A really silly subject written with all the wit and skill at your disposal. In fact the humour lay in the contrast of style and subject. You have to know what you are doing to pull something like this off. As gerard as, an object lesson in how to do it. If this puts one person off from posting up another badly written, angst-ridden effort it will earn it's place as POTW 
Jane
Off subject
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3331 comments posted) 28th February 2008
I just saw your Legionaire Daydreams in the blue box and read it again. I think it's still my favourite. It means a bit more each time I read it.

Written by Veronica_Milvus (603 comments posted) 28th February 2008
Bravo!!! I would like to do something similar myself but work has got in the way so far. Glad you took up the challenge. 
 
You are a contender for: 
 
The Annual Bacardi Breezer Geezer Prize. 
 
You might yet be the only contender.
Hats off to Patterjack
Written by Brett (759 comments posted) 28th February 2008
Great fun, marvellous rhyming. I love 'while flecks of chips pattern a speckled sight.' 
 
More poetry to make us laugh, I say. 
 
Cheers 
 
Brett
Alcopops
Written by patterjack (1179 comments posted) 29th February 2008
Thanks to all reviewers . I really did have fun with this . 
 
There are lots of rhymes for alcopops -- many fewer for Pringles . Pity .  
 
BBS -- I have to confess that it was only a boyish delight ( and what could be more ugly than that envisioned in a 78 year old ? -- just picture it !!! ) a delight in rising to a sort of challenge .  
 
But I will say this -- I am with you all the way in my loathing of the crap which brings about the regurgitating of my breakfast ( which is eaten at about the time that I read it ) when I peruse some of the emo-angst on the site. 
 
Ah , what the hell ! 
 
patterjack 
 
HI Brian
Written by jean.day (2266 comments posted) 29th February 2008
Good fun reading this, and it actually made me want some right now. 
 
I like the wristy swing, and aleatory hours.

Written by Phil (6683 comments posted) 29th February 2008
All been said, Brian. Enjoyed it. 
 
Phil

Written by audrie (451 comments posted) 1st March 2008
'The moving finger' certainly wrote with this one, Brian. 
 
Loved it. Could just imagine you sitting slurping and munching. I think I'll go and attack some pringles myself. I like the sour cream and onion! 
 
Let's have some more.

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