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ONCE SEEN - A Modern Anacreontic |
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By Veronica_Milvus
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28 February 2008 |
This was based on a "once seen - never forgotten" ad in Time Out magazine, quoted recently on the BBC News Quiz. I submit it as an unworthy entry for the Breezer Geezer prize: I won't win because Patterjack stole all the good rhymes for "Pringles" and I couldn't work them in to the story.
ONCE SEEN
You - seen at the night bus stop
completely pissed on alcopop.
Me - the girl with ginger head
who held you, while you vomited.
The WKD Blue that soaked my thighs
brought out the colour of your eyes
So tenderly I wiped your face.
You smiled at me with vacant grace.
O glory that is Friday night
that puts the working week to flight!
What sweet oblivion it sends
when alcoholic daze descends.
Have you, since then, forgotten me
and how our hearts touched, fleetingly?
If not, I hope that you will write
and say you'll meet for drinks some night.
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A Great Relief
Written by patterjack (1433 comments posted) 28th February 2008 | A relief-- not through the puking , or as Bazzer called it , the technicolor spit, -- but from the fact that you have done a tit for tat and I can happily put aside any attempt at anacreontics on the topic . I withdraw from even a thought of setting up against it !
Seriously -- it is a seriously good piece of work -- wry , witty , and a lovely send up of the sentimental soul-companionship to be found among drinking mates.
patterjack , still laughing
| Brilliant stuff
Written by Brett (983 comments posted) 28th February 2008 | Veronica, this is great. I've just had a gruelling 16 hour day, and this has made me laugh. Some wonderful lines here and, as patterjack has said, witty and a lovely send up. Thanks.
Cheers
Brett
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Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3566 comments posted) 28th February 2008 | I've heard it claimed that Eskimos have nearly 100 words for snow. I think poets have more than that for 'poem'. Not being an Eskimo snow does for everything, same goes for poem. I suppose I could look it up but why bother, I enjoyed it just fine as without knowing. It's so good to see some genuine wit and silliness expressed in poetry and done so well. I liked the way the rhymes worked,particularly 'head' and 'vomited'--wonderful; though I wasn't sure how to pronounce WKD
Funny and well writtten,more please
Jane |
Written by Matthiasrising (37 comments posted) 28th February 2008 | | God, that's a sickly brilliant satire of what so many use to find comfort in. You painted a vivid ironic scene! | Poem for the Pissed.
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 28th February 2008 | Well done Veronica. A wonderfully amusing piece of originality and quick witted lampoon of very other adolescent's pitiful cooings. I shall certainly add you to my ' Worth Reading List '; alongside Patterjack, Gutterkitty, Talisker, Hutmaster and Clo.
Slan! |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (749 comments posted) 29th February 2008 | Your comments are all very kind! I'm glad I ended up having something to say on the subject of binge drinking.
Trying to use a particular verse form is just a silly game and i didn't struggle too hard to study the anachreaontic. I would never have heard of it if not for Brett, and I just tried to follow Brett's metre from his post a few days ago. Its subject matter should apparently be wine, love and the fleetingness of life. Thanks for the inspiration.
Other suitable subjects for lampoon - celebrity culture, the media, mid life crises, homeopathy, materialism, the Chelsea Tractor... not sure where to start.
WKD I think is just pronounced "Wicked". | Congratulations
Written by Josie (2845 comments posted) 29th February 2008 | | I really enjoyed your poem Veronica and the fact that it was light and made me laugh meant that others too will appreciate it for this reason. So it will go into the category of "popular" poetry on GW. I am so very glad that you are joining up with us for the poetry workshop, and if others reading this go to Poets' Tavern, to fellpony's topic about "Learning How to Write Poetry" - we would welcome you to our constructive practice group too. It will be well worth doing I feel sure. You just need to give up a small amount of time each week for reading and practice. |
Written by Phil (6959 comments posted) 29th February 2008 | Enjoyed this V - particularly lines 4, 5 and 6. Classy. 
Good stuff.
Phil |
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