This is inspired by Gilbert and Sullivan’s ‘I am the very model of a Modern Major General’
I am the very model of a modest writing gentleman
I’m not a girl who dresses like a learned Jewish Yentl man
I dabble and I scribble and I piss about with limericks
I’m full of witty rhyme and puns and smut and lots of simlar tricks.
Occasionally I’ll rant or fashion something observational.
Or write a piece of dialogue that’s wry and conversational.
Or write a book or two and if I sell ‘em I’ll be more than glad…...
They…. think I’m posh and snooty but I’m really just a Northern lad
Chorus:
They think he’s posh and snooty but he’s really just a Northern lad
They think he’s posh and snooty but he’s really just a Northern lad
They think he’s posh and snooty but he’s really just a proper Northern lad.
Some people find I touch a chord and praise my verisimilitude
But others whine or patronise with irritated attitude
You often get a nutter who will barely make an ounce of sense
Or guys who give suggestions on the use of the subjunctive tense.
Occasionally young ladies will become all coy and flirtified
Whilst battleaxes puzzle and demand that I be certified
If moderators list my misdemeanours heterogeneous…..
I‘ll… mutter that their only friends are cats and I’m a genius!
Chorus:
The moderator’s only friends are cats and he’s a genius.
The moderator’s only friends are cats and he’s a genius
The moderator’s only friends are cats and he’s a proper genius!
Some people will congratulate and post me little smiley things
Whilst others beg to differ and that’s fair enough it both way swings
I’ll treasure all the best of ‘em and bollocks to the rest of ‘em
I am the very model of a modest writing gentleman.
De diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle dee etc
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Oh!
Written by fellpony (1569 comments posted) 29th February 2008 |
Mind you, with a moniker like SIR Nigel, it's hard to know you're not "posh and snooty".
Eat your heart out, William Schwenk! Very close to Gilbert's original patter(n). Enjoyed it! |
Hilarious
Written by Josie (2721 comments posted) 29th February 2008 |
| I have to congratulate you on a good take off of Gilbert and Sullivan's Major General. Well done. I love doing things like this myself and have just written one about being a Pirate Poet. I must put it on GW. Why not join us in our poetry workshop? You would love it. See "Poets' Tavern." |
Thanks
Written by Sir_Nigel (37 comments posted) 29th February 2008 |
Josie,
I had a look round the Poets Tavern but after nursing a half pint of best bitter, listening to the clock tick on the wall, waiting for someone to say ‘Hello’ or ‘What’s your favourite colour?’ or ‘Do you mind if I borrow that ashtray’. Or even ‘Hey big boy you wanna come back to my place and party?’ (that last one was a long shot admittedly), I left.
Those poets – probably still in bed eh? Sleeping it off?
But I look forward to reading your pirate poem. I have a couple of pirate poems up my sleeve also.
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Written by Phil (6629 comments posted) 29th February 2008 |
Enjoyed very much, Sir N.
Phil |
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