All this talk about poetic structure made me wonder if I could do it. Obviously not..
I wanted
to write
A Haiku,
but the snag is,
You just
can’t say much.
|
Written by fellpony (1608 comments posted) 1st March 2008 |
| Well, I think that's a good try - it has an opening premise in line 1, a changing element in line 2, and an amended statement in line 3. Many a first effort at Haiku has been worse! |
Written by Phil (6719 comments posted) 1st March 2008 |
And at least I understand it!
Phil |
Congratulations
Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 1st March 2008 |
| Hi Jane - Your haiku is superbly written and sometimes a still tongue makes for a wise head. You said little but we saw your wisdom. |
After all anyone...
Written by patterjack (1194 comments posted) 1st March 2008 |
...who can count and read is surely able to count syllables , but one can question whether syllabic bean counting is all that important .
So many people seem to think that one can ignore such problems as emphases and elisions . For example -- suppose you had written can not -- you would have to drop just and there would be a subtle change of emphasis and thus a subtle change of meaning .
Thank you for allowing me to make that general point from your epigraph . The last two words of that are not correct !!
This verse conforms to one of the several possible haiku forms , so well done and let your muse loose !
patterjack |
Written by bitraker (15 comments posted) 1st March 2008 |
| yeah, well... |
Breathtaking!
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 1st March 2008 |
I am lost for words. Which, come to think of it, seems a bit like you.
By the way. When you write a Hiccup is it like Sodoku? I'm intrigued. Seems fascinating.
Can I have a go?
Confused, Saffron Walden. |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (630 comments posted) 2nd March 2008 |
| Very witty, and poignant. Apparently, one can string several haiku together and call them a haikai, which might give you more space. But nice and tightly written, more poems please! |
Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 2nd March 2008 |
| Haiku is a Japanese form of writing poetry. It's the stresses that we English put into various words which make our own language more open to rhythm and melodic sound, in a way in which no other language is. Therefore, we don't need to write our poems counting syllables as in Haiku. I learnt how to do Haiku, but give me a poem which flows from one stress to the next, lifting and falling as a leaf in the wind. Much much more beautiful! We often don't realize what a truly beautiful language we have. An Italian friend, hearing English spoken for the first time, but not understanding it, said (translated): "English sounds such a beautiful melodic language to my ear." Quite right, but hear it spoken with a Welsh accent - - - Heavenly! Almost a song. |
Written by Merioneth (79 comments posted) 20th April 2008 |
I think your haiku
very clever indeed Jane
a great first-try-ku!
Oh boy. I am a ridiculous person.
~Merioneth |
Written by Fledermaus (3281 comments posted) 1st May 2008 |
| Well, well. I think one can say a lot in a haiku. You just did. |
HI Jane
Written by jean.day (2279 comments posted) 2nd June 2008 |
| I missed this at the time. I think it is fun to try out these things, as you did - but I must say I would be frustrated if it were the only form of writing available to me. |
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