I have a faint memory that Brett said something about trochees as the basis of the anacreontic pentametric feet. I can't find a reference to that for myself.
I have never before written trochaic pentameter , and this effort has left my head spinning.
Strange how without the heavy accents to guide in vocalising , it wants to revert here and there to either iambs or other feet
I print it thus-- so that it can be counted by syllables - would anyone like to check it ?
patterjack
Alcopops and Pringles -- 2
Love and
wine ins
pired
verbal
flowers !
I cy
frosted
fizzing
drinks with
powers ,
Alco
pops , a
substit
ute for
wining
greatly
damage
stomach's
tender
lining.
Take po
tatoes
sliced and
fried till
golden
Which no
doubt will
then your
heart em
bolden.
Hail then !
pommes de terre thus
making
Pringles !
who do
you know
stops at
only
singles ?
|
Written by fellpony (1652 comments posted) 2nd March 2008 |
There's something comic about totally trochaic metre, possibly the inevitable feminine endings to the lines.
Should the last line begin "Who" (who ... stops at only singles)?
I have thought about this little challenge of VM's and haven't been able to write anything faintly presentable. I am astonished at you producing two! |
Oops!!
Written by patterjack (1328 comments posted) 2nd March 2008 |
Me grammar!
I wold not claim that this is presentable Sue -- but it was one hell of a technical challenge to get it to make any kind of sense !!! and therefore stimulating fun.
Thanks
patterjack |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (704 comments posted) 2nd March 2008 |
What do you mean -feminine endings???
Nice job, Patterjack, you are really having fun with this topic.
|
Written by Phil (6836 comments posted) 2nd March 2008 |
Fun piece. This may spoil the trochaic pattern (whatever that may be) but I thought the rhythmic swing of the first line was crying out for 'by' before flowers. Hark at me commenting on technicalities!
Feminine endings? I knew I lacked poetic knowledge, but I thought I'd at least heard of most of the terms. This is a new one on me.
Phil |
Brett
Written by Brett (884 comments posted) 2nd March 2008 |
Nice one Patterjack. The original anacreontics were not in pentameter (but I suppose it is the content that matters) they are syllabically seven, in tetrameter (four beats to a line) and, for fellpony's benefit, being fully trochaic would have no feminine endings, but masculine;
Drink, for God's sake 'till you fall.
Phil - feminine endings is not as filthy as you may think it sounds. A masculine ending is when the line finishes on its natural stress (as in my pathetic example above).
If I had chosen
Drink, for God's sake 'till your falling.
This would be a feminine ending as you would naturally stress fall and not -ing. So your trochaic tetrameter still has its four beats or stresses but has one weak syllable left over - the feminine ending.
Hope this helps, but rather fear it won't.
Cheers to you all
Brett |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (704 comments posted) 2nd March 2008 |
| Thanks Brett. I am moving from "unconscious incompetence" to "conscious incompetence" with this poetry lark. |
Written by Phil (6836 comments posted) 2nd March 2008 |
It helps - I understand - but fear I wouldn't be able to construct.
Phil |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3445 comments posted) 2nd March 2008 |
Nimbly sidestepping all the technical detail in the reviews, I'll concentrate on the content which is proably a bit pointless as the purpose of this to illustrate use of meter. I think I fall into the 'conscious ingnorance' category.
Given Pringles use of trans-fatty acids I might take issue with embolden, but, I suppose,embolism wouldn't fit. I suppose that's poetic licence. I read somewhere that Pringles are made by compressing all the potatoe sludge that would otherwise be thrown out and adding vast quantities of flavourings. I must admit they are addictive.
You do seem to be having great fun with this. It makes for great reading, anyway. I think a job in advertising beckons . I'll try and get Pringles sales dept.
cheers
Jane
|
I'm afraid it's more about the trochee
Written by Brett (884 comments posted) 2nd March 2008 |
Reading my comments I feel that I was a little unfair on fellpony. Fully trochaic pentameter would of course always have a feminine ending, my comments were aimed toward the tetramtric anacreontic. Now, whether an iamb or a trochee, we always have the option to dock a syllable (making that ending feminine or masculine).
So Veronica and Phil, my example
Drink for God's sake 'till you fall
The first stress is on drink (then mine usually is) and the last is on fall, making fall a docked trochee and a masculine ending.
Hope I have not confused things anymore, my last comments were made in a quick lunch break (yes, I'm working Sundays aswell, nearly two months since Brett entered his local - shocking).
Cheers
Brett |
Written by Phil (6836 comments posted) 2nd March 2008 |
Two months - bloody hell - that's one long bender. You work there too?
Phil  |
I wish
Written by Brett (884 comments posted) 2nd March 2008 |
No, Phil, I mean that it is two months since I was last in there for a pint. Oh, for a two month bender (no sordid comments, please).
Cheers
Brett |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (704 comments posted) 2nd March 2008 |
| wow. We are docking our trochees now. I am going to run back to the great Iambs before I get dizzy. Still. it's nice to know the names. |
Written by audrie (454 comments posted) 4th March 2008 |
| Is there a translator in the house???? |
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