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| A Letter To A Friend | |
| By nsperfect71 | ||||||||||||||
| 08 March 2008 | ||||||||||||||
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Hi all, How eager you are. How fresh. How keen. I still remember the first time I met you; you came across as so gracious, yet sharply quick. It was almost as if you had a neon sign on your forehead glaring out to the world ‘Gifted Person!!’. You very obviously are dying to prove yourself. You are special. And what's more, you suspect as much. You are raring to go. But where? Will you get there eventually? I think you will. I dearly hope you do. I won’t deny that I am worried you might. People who know where they want to go worry me. People who get there scare me. I glimpse something in you that I can't describe. I relate to you in an inexpressible way. I identify with you for reasons that remain a mystery. Sometimes I feel that what I see in you is a ghost of myself. Of what I might have been. Or is it of what I would have liked to be? But that's an exaggeration. I don't look up to you. I simply would have liked to be more like you. I see a hint of my past in your features and hear an echo of my youth in your voice. A sense of déjà vu hits me. Your hopes and your uncertainties are unexpectedly familiar. I would like to keep faith with you and tell you that it will turn out all right…but who am I to know? And what does ‘all right’ mean? You intrigue me. You impress and stimulate me. For years I lived on Planet Ordinary where I met people too uninspiring to be compared with you. I know it is harsh to portray them in that light. They're kind and welcoming friends. They can be fun in their own way. But they are completely happy to shuffle along from day to day dragging their feet in the mundane. And then you came along. A pebble thrown into a sleeping pond. You are a cut above the rest. That's not to say that you are better than the rest. And you are happy to mix in with everyone else, no matter how humdrum. Is it again your desire to prove yourself? That you can have it all? That you can fit in with all? You are truly something else. A breath of fresh air. I feel lucky that someone like you is in my very own circle. Does this make me sound sad? Above all, I feel proud of you. I like to think that I’m not just saying that so some of your future glory rubs on me. I like to think it is not a defence mechanism to stop Jealousy from eating away at me. I like to think that deep down inside, beneath the envy and the insecurity, beneath the doubts and the regrets and the grief over the lost chances, it is pride that swells up inside me when I think of you.
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