Well ... it not often that I feel like this. All agitated and upset with no real plan of where to get to. Life I thought would never end up like this really. It would still feel that up glass was half full. I would not get use to this feel of embarrassment at what i have achieved and attained in life.

Other people had passed me by and taken the fast lane of the motorway and left me in the first lane in a Robin Reliant. It was getting near to breaking down and stopping and then it would be hard to escape the clutches of the herd shoulder. My life had ground to a halt. It was going nowhere and the same problems always seemed to come back and bits chucks out of my stamina.
Everything I was attached to had seemed to be stunted in growth and development. It

was so unfair but I had no-one to blame. There was nothing i could do or say that would have changed anything but I was here. Luck and the fatal blows that life swings at you in the ring and catch you cold had come now. No-one I know had come to see their life like this. Was it me? Was I seeing everything wrong and risking it all gambling at the last chance saloon?

Unsure that there is ever an answer to these questions. I thought, as you got older it seemed to get better and one understood things more. It was never like that for me, and the rational for thinking objectively like I had a choice was not relevant. I had very limited choices now. I had whittled them down to two. One to just accept things as that are, or this. Well here goes.

" Hello Mr Whitman. Is it your first time here?"
" Yes" I answer sheepishly, very self-conscious and embarrassed.
" Well don't worry I sure we can help you."
If only I could have helped myself. But no.
" I hope so."
" So.... what kind of girl are you looking for.... professional, young mature.. we have a large selection of very attractive women on our books. ...."
The droning... God I could not bear it. The Dating Agency syndrome had now arrived in my life.