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Methodists Need Not Apply - a villanelle
By Brett
11 March 2008
I am aware that the methodist church has somewhat relaxed its attitude to liquor, but I could not get the refrains out of my head (no pun intended). So as this is not ecclesiastically up to date you can accuse me of a lazy attempt at a villanelle.

Methodists Need Not Apply

Methodists need not apply
Theirs is to condemn all gin,
Theirs is to abstain and sigh.

Mopping up your scotch or rye,
Ours not their Lord's hymns to sing.
Methodists need not apply.

Pleading me to testify
"God forgive me of my sin,"
Theirs is to abstain and sigh.

Forging God, but God knows why,
Adding venomn to Death's sting,
Methodists need not apply.

Jesus wept, their Christ is dry,
Wine is not now His to bring;
Theirs is to abstain and sigh.

Just once more to clarify
Fill your vessels to the brim:
Methodists need not apply
Theirs is to abstain and sigh.

Reviews
Ha ha
Written by Josie (2496 comments posted) 11th March 2008
I belong to the Methodist Church, Brett, and you are correct. We don't even get proper wine for communion - only what I think is cherry juice! Whereas, when I belonged to the Church of England, the vicar would say: Are you coming to the vicarage for a sherry after church Josie? Now, really - what do you think is best> ha ha Having said all this, the Methodists may have a point, when you see all the drunkards about at the weekend. You did very well Brett - a perfect villanelle I would say.

Written by audrie (444 comments posted) 11th March 2008
Very good, I like the way you have done this. Very witty.

Written by Veronica_Milvus (455 comments posted) 11th March 2008
Fantastic! That is quite a tricky verse form that you made to look easy. Do you do any other denominations? I feel that a Catholic version should be available for contrast!
Major hurdle ...
Written by patterjack (1053 comments posted) 11th March 2008
... or so I found when I first discovered the form , is to get a first and a third line that combine to present a thesis . The rest is a matter of finding enough rhymes to be able to make sensible stanzas . 
 
The first I ever wrote -- mid '60s -- got me a reputaton as an iconoclast -- quite undeserved . 
 
When I found myself in later efforts getting bound into abstracts , I gave the form away.  
 
I am glad to see you mostly managed to avoid that trap ! 
 
You caught well the Villon tone ,especially in regards to the demon drink , to make an interesting and readable verse 
 
patterjack
cooking wine
Written by mia_ms_kim (890 comments posted) 12th March 2008
This poem seems clever and funny to me, without any hint of mockery. 
 
I used to go to church where they did not even allow cooking wine. Any consumption of alcohol by the clergy had to be accidental and unintended. They used grape juice to approximate the wine. It makes me smile now. I remember the people with fondness. 
 
Mia ;)

Written by Phil (6383 comments posted) 12th March 2008
Brought up a Methodist (long since lapsed)- one of the dullest sects of the Christian faith. 
 
I quite like this - though it doesn't contain the venom I'd likke to inect into it! 
 
I thought PJ's comment's ere particularly on the button. 
 
Phil

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