Hypnotised, my memories unravel like a book
But where the pictures in my mind will go I cannot look
For underneath my logic says this stuff it can't be true
But when I think of what I've found I blame it all on you
You the one who gave me life but painted it with shame
You the one who fed me men who played me like a game
When I gain my sanity, revenge is what I'll seek
And give you all my memories and shame so you will wreak
What god above would see a child and let her face abuse
To see that person waist their life, what would be the use
My inner self, my logic mind knows that you don't exist
For when I turn to ask your help you hold back and resist
Religion is a fallacy, a crutch for those in need
I believe that I know best and truth is what I'll heed
What's the point in having God if we all suffer so
I'd rather live a happy life and find my inner glow
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Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 12th March 2008 | Hi PP. There seems to be two ideas here that, at least for me, don't quite come together. I can't quite make the link. Could just be me. Can't fault the second message - the one that comes through clearly in the last. However, you hint strongly at the end of ther first and through the second at something else. This is the part that I'm finding elusive. Perhaps it just needs a little more clarity - perhaps it's me.
The last verse alone carries what I consider to be a central truth oflife. Not necessariy that I know best - but that at the very least, I'll make up my own mind after weighing things up.
Phil
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Written by Fledermaus (3301 comments posted) 12th March 2008 | Apart from a few strange constructions which I'm not sure about wether they are grammatical or not, this was a good poem. It had rhyme and rhythm and a clear structure. The message is one delivered often, but you did it in an original way.
It seems one problem people have with religion is that they expect their deities to wave a magic wand and make it all right. Of course some religions are partly responsible for that illusion themselves, but perhaps suffering is just a part of life, and religion is not there to solve problems, but just to make them more bearable.
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Written by punchy (500 comments posted) 12th March 2008 | | Yeah, you're right it is a contradiction in itself. We blame God when things go bad but we also question his existence. If we all took full responcibility for our lives we wouldn't need God at all and we might even better ourselves and succeed. |
Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 12th March 2008 | | You just cannot blame God for the evil inflicted by mankind - one cruel person to another. It's been done over and over again unfortunately, and it doesn't work, for he is a God of love, not of cruelty. You need to face up to the real culprit in all of this I'm afraid. As for a crutch for those in need, I am a Christian, and if, being a "crutch" means giving support to those who ask for it in life, yes, I've found he has supported me on many occasions, and I really would not be here today without the prayers that were said fir me, and acted on by God, at a time when I was facing death. God was and still is a real presence in my life and in the lives of millions in all the many faiths that there are in this world. |
Written by mia_ms_kim (1019 comments posted) 12th March 2008 | I've read some things on GW, that made me strongly emotional. This poem is one of them. It seems to bleed quietly without being overly emotional. 'God turned his back on the writer, and now she turns her back on him.'
God is addressed directly as 'you' from 1st - 3rd stanza's. The line '...you don't exist' instead of 's/he doesn't exist' shows me the confusion and the contradiction which just is part of being human. In the last stanza 'you' disappear all together, showing me the poet has turned her back on God. Those things speak to me louder, and make the pain real. At least this is how I read it.
Impacting. Though I'm religious (or perhaps because of it), I can relate to this in my own way.
Mia | At first
Written by audrie (451 comments posted) 12th March 2008 | I thought you were referring to your mother! The one who gave you birth and fed you men? Horrible thought!
Then it switched to God. I think of God as a force of energy, and as such that energy can be fuelled by prayer, or any really deep feeling.
So the energy actually comes from within ourselves, and when a number of people unite that energy, then prayers can be answered.
It isn't God who causes dreadful things to happen, as Josie says, it is mankind. It is we ourselves who create situations and then expect 'God' to clear up the mess.
Good writing. |
Written by Diddi (80 comments posted) 14th March 2008 | I liked this poem and most of the flow, it did have the odd hiccup when I read it, but I'm sure you'll fix them when it's time to do so. What affected me most was the sheer honesty. The power of the feelings expressed, hurt, disappointment, anger and frustration. Above all, the refusal to compromise, to search for more, for inner peace.
Not being an expert on poetry, I can only comment from the viewpoint of liking what I read. I liked this!
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