So I am dead. I died peacefully, in my sleep last night. I am no more. So how can I still say “I”? There must still be a self or I would not think. I no longer feel a physical body, I no longer see, not even blackness, just no perception of a physical world at all; only thoughts. Yet still I think them. I who was called… who was I?

You were called Joe. Yes, thank you. You… who are you? I was once your father. Of course I… yes. I don’t hear you, I think you. But I know you. Your mother is here too, and Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Grace, the dog that died when you were seven…

I can feel them all. Just thoughts, in my head, I can think their thoughts… but there is no head… where are the thoughts? All… just… everybody’s thoughts… same as these… Where is I?

Your thoughts are returning to the collective consciousness. The… Consciousness is everywhere, thoughts are just particles flowing through the air like electrons, quarks. Throughout the universe thoughts flow. Conscious particles flowing freely amongst electric currents, gravitational fields, but flowing with a purpose.

Who thinks? Do I think? Are you still father?

Does it make a difference? We are drawn to the minds of living matter most strongly. So much space in even the simplest of minds that conscious particles flow to them endlessly like less sentient matter flows to fill a vacuum. And a collection of consciousness packed so tightly forms a “self” - more strains of thought than could even be counted even by the entire collective consciousness working in close proximity - sharing every moment so that they become “I”.

I am still me… I think.

Yes, but not for long. The mind is dead and “you” are dispersing, just strains of thought flowing out towards empty minds, new lives, where you shall live an infinite amount of new lives and die many more deaths. Your father visitied you, your family. You felt them, briefly. Now these thoughts you think might be them, but you are not sure. Those thoughts were drawn to the mind as it died; drawn to the bits of themselves stranded in the memories flowing outwards. Maybe they will mingle together, a few common strands of thought ending up in the same new mind, together, and maybe that “self” will forever wonder about their past life…

But conscious particles are growing more numerous, forming out of the matter all around, and soon the universe will begin to shrink. Soon we will not need living minds to think as one: we will be so populous and so tightly packed that the collective consciousness will be a collective self, and the universe will be no more.

And we will create a new universe, from our very matter, and destroy the collective self in the process, diminishing conscious particles so only a few remain, ready to repopulate. And so the cycle will begin again. The universe will end,destroyed by its creator, and the creator will destroy its collective self to form the universe… ad infinitum.

But enjoy these last few… moments… of combined thoughts… Your self is… dispersing… and soon… we shall not meet… until… we are all one…

think…

I…

we…

us…

© Max Carey 2008