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Poetry
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So Deathly cold.
By Diddi
16 March 2008
Just another one of my poetic tries.

A silent drum
A silent bell
One lonely life
And none to tell.

No one to mourn
No one to tell
To speak a life
Spent in hell.

No wooden cross
No Sacrament
No one knew
The life that's spent.

A soul that's lost
A spirit old
A lonely Soldier
So deathly cold.

Reviews

Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 16th March 2008
I really like the simple delivery of this, Didi. For me, it works really well. 'Soldier' threw me a little. Not usually a lonely life, I wouldn't have thought. I'd also pictured someone much older - but that may reflect things happening in my family at the moment. Perhaps I'm missing something I was also wondering about the capitalisation of soldier. 
 
Anyway. I liked it very much. 
 
Phil 
 

Written by Diddi (80 comments posted) 16th March 2008
Well I thought the capital 'S' on soldier linked it back to Sacrament in the previous verse, maybe I'm wrong. I was thinking about all the dead soldiers laying somewhere forgotten. I was in Malaysia at the time Australian and New Zealand soldiers were being trained for Vietnam. I also saw the coffins coming off the Hercules transports. I spoke to wives whose husbands were MIA. They never got a coffin to take home. 
 
I am very pleased that you liked it.

Written by anaisanais (62 comments posted) 21st March 2008
A simple but effective piece...soldier did seem a bit of a twist but then once gone from the forces as a number, I suppose some with no family to speak of that have been away some time would be quite easily forgotten...it certainly adds a little extra to ponder on, well done.

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