|
By seafour
|
|
19 March 2008 |
I lay back and wait
But if I just remain still
our peace may be cold
Will you let go? Or
latch on to rust string? Beware
both cuts you in two
I am drowned out by
tempest'ous adversities
Patience is my aid
|
Written by anaisanais (62 comments posted) 19th March 2008 | | Nicely written, effective use of smaller print for your last stanza. Well done - works well as a whole. |
Written by Fledermaus (3487 comments posted) 19th March 2008 | Hi Seafour.
Since you posted the link an borrowed two of my lines I must comment eh (not a suggestion to others btw) ;-)
I don't know if this was only inspired by it or that you deliberately continued on it, but it seems you got it totally right what that haiku was about.
|
Written by Fledermaus (3487 comments posted) 19th March 2008 | Wait! Now I'm getting paranoid... I'm not sure, but there seem to be too many strange coincidences here. Do I perhaps know you?
Als dat het geval is heb je me in elk geval verrast... Zo niet, dan heeft iemand anders me verrast, want dit lijkt TE toevallig. |
Written by mia_ms_kim (1057 comments posted) 19th March 2008 | Hankuk saram yiseyo?
Liked this one, too. Was the font used for third haiku deliberate or accidental?
Mia - who enjoys Fledermaus' haikus.  |
Written by Fledermaus (3487 comments posted) 20th March 2008 | | Leaves floating on a summer breeze... |
Written by Josie (2845 comments posted) 20th March 2008 | | Hello Seafour - Laying back and waiting is no answer to life's problems. If something has gone wrong in your life, the way forward is to put things right. Everyone has tempestuous adversaries, but more often than not they have many more good friends, and th ese are the ones to concentrate on. |
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register. Powered by AkoComment 2.0! |
Previous item
