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Poetry
Iraq War (Happy Birthday Mr Soul)
By mr_soul
19 March 2008
Five years ago my Prime Minister gave me a birthday present. It was a war in Iraq. I'm sure everyone was affected by the war, the fact that it occurred on my birthday made it even more poignant for me.
It was, and still is, a disaster, an absolute travesty. May we remember the civilians, troops and all others who died or suffered as a result of this needless war.

Gunfire crackles in the dead of night

As shock and awe bombs provide the light

To an ancient, battered, troubled land

Held ransom at our own command.

Like wolves the powers dressed as prophets,

Attacked the poor to boost their profits

They killed and maimed on a pack of lies

And ignored the people asking why.

The streets blown apart and lined blood red

Spoke of the many thousands dead

By two callous men who didn’t care

There’s blood on your hands, Bush and Blair.

Reviews

Written by gutterkitty (362 comments posted) 19th March 2008
Generally well done, with a good flow and rhyme scheme. I can't help but feel that you might have to work harder to say something new here though, as it's a much-covered topic. Still not a bad two-penny's worth at all.

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3566 comments posted) 19th March 2008
I can't really do more than echo what kitty has said,especially as she is more of a poet then me. It was a restrained piece and all the more powerful for it. I suppose it has all been said before but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be said again and well done for saying it and saying so well. Some telling lines here. I especially liked  
"Like wolves the powers dressed as prophets" 
I liked the juxtaposition of western and eastern style imagery 
cheers 
Jane 

Written by Phil (6959 comments posted) 19th March 2008
Ditto the above - especially: it bears being stated again. 
 
Phil

Written by Brett (983 comments posted) 19th March 2008
I think this is your best effort to date, flows beautifully (though I would lose the 'And' at the beginning of line six). I agree with Phil and BBS, why should this grevious fact not be stated again? If we felt like that we would have forgotten the holocaust. 
Well done. 
Cheers 
Brett

Written by Lizzy (828 comments posted) 20th March 2008
A well written piece, simply put but with a lot of power behind the words 
Lizzy
Thanks
Written by mr_soul (126 comments posted) 21st March 2008
Thanks for all the comments. I decided to take up your suggestion, Brett. Once you said that I read it over a few times and it seems to flow better without "And", while still making sense. 
Thanks everyone

Written by Merioneth (79 comments posted) 18th April 2008
I've only read a few of your poems but this is the best I've seen yet. Great flow, doesn't sag into the hollow-sentiment "NO MORE BLOOD FOR OIL" pet-cause trap.  
 
I would, however, make one modification; 
 
By three callous men who just didn’t care 
 
There’s blood on your hands, Bush, Cheney and Blair.  
 
:p

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