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Poetry
Island
Written by fellpony
20 March 2008
Who was asking for passion in poetry? You may not like what you get.


Here is a wet green island that lives on its tales of fame.
Here is a dying country, where farming’s an old man’s game,
fighting with agribusiness, whose twisting mists conceal
the supermarket trading,
Viking
raiding,
back into safety fading,
to hide how they cheat and steal.

Cities of sweating sunlight centre on crowded plains,
stretch out in streets of the dumb ones who rock on the morning trains,
risk not a nod to their neighbour, dodging the open stare
daring the eye to wonder,
seek what’s
under,
fearing a social blunder
nor chancing a call to care.

Poverty out in the country, privacy clutched in the town,
are they each other’s brother, scarecrow or whitefaced clown?
Nine to five work in the city, or daily rural brawl.
Taking a loss as duty,
taxes
booty;
Die of neglect in beauty
or drown in the urban sprawl.

Reviews
Bitterness
Written by patterjack (1179 comments posted) 20th March 2008
Can it equate with full blown passion ? Not sure myself . We have our problems in Oz too -- but quite different from wht you portray . 
 
Very well structured -- and my only stumble was in the line seek what's 
 
It certainly carries feeling !  
 
patterjack
Disgusting....
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 20th March 2008
Enjoyed this Sue. If that is the right word. I do know what you mean. For what it is worth. 
 
Frankly.... Beautiful. Some very good alliteration. So said from the heart, so they say. No answer...  
 
I wouldn't know. Save to say tha my daughter and her partner; and not to mention my son cannot afford to purchase a house in the village in which they were born....  
 
Slan! 
 
 

Written by Phil (6683 comments posted) 20th March 2008
Crikey, Sue. Feeling down when you penned this one? 
 
An effective piece. A slightly biter rant I think. Finding this one difficult to write about. While I recognise the 'sickness' you describe, I honestly don't think it's so bad - but then you could probably accuse me of being unreasonably optimistic. 
 
Really liked the structure of this. (Slightly reminiscent of The 
Highwayman at the close of each verse.) The structure of each verse really framed your observations very well. 
 
Like the title. :grin  
 
I thought this extremely wide and narrow at he same time. While 
condemning all of society - you seem to do a more thorough (wider) job on the urban lot than the rural where you seem to be focusing on a narrower range of issues. Could be my lack of understanding of rural issues, of course. 
 
Sounds like I don't like it - but I do, very much. Just thoughts that 
pass through my unpoetic head. 
 
Phil 

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