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Poetry
Inspiration
By Justice_Ri_Der
20 March 2008
I was trying hard to avoid doing this, but my feelings finally came out. To the person who makes my heart swoon, this one's for you.

It gives me strength to overcome adversity
It reminds me that I am loved
It stays on my mind day and night
The further I get from it, the weaker I am.

I wonder what it does when it's not with me
Possibly helping birds to fly in the morning
Or giving an artist one last chance at redemption
It makes others happy, and it is happy as well.

It's the light that guides me through the darkness
It's the warmth in the cold and rain
To calm the rage of the storm
Or send legions to war.

What's big is small, and what's small is big
And it is both and neither
Perfection nor the Void; it doesn't matter to me
For the world's secrets are encapsulated within it.

This Inspiration I speak of is not a thing
Not a place, not a word, not a problem
It is a person
And she exists eternally.

Reviews

Written by Fledermaus (3487 comments posted) 20th March 2008
It's certainly a passionate poem, but the thing with so much passion is that one might sometimes run to fast. You have introduced a number of very nice metaphors, but it would be nice if your poem had a clearer rhythm. I'm sure your love will appreciate it as it is of course. :)

Written by anaisanais (62 comments posted) 21st March 2008
Some lovely imagery, but as with the reader above, I too would be inclined to rework a couple of things... for example try not to use the same word in a poem if it caa be helped, least to say with a stanza or even line. When we write in heat of moment we can run out of things to say or limit our dialect and vocabulary. A little time spent will add that 'je ne sais pas' to the write, maybe rose petaals will drop......Thus said words written for one so loved go by the by for it is with such affection they are given. Wishing you well in your conquest! lol.

Written by mia_ms_kim (1057 comments posted) 22nd March 2008
A layman's reaction. The sentiments expressed are lovely. I especially sense the passion in 'or send legions to war' - man's love for a woman has historically done that. Powerful. I especially liked stanzas 2-4. This must be someone very special to you. If someone wrote me this poem, I would be very moved. 
 
Mia :)

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