My old South African Grandpa had a special trick; he used to blow tobacco smoke out of his perforated ear drum, something that both endeared him to us kids but also induced in us a delicious horror....The poem doesn't do him justice and its dotted with some splendid cliches but I think it gets part of the way there.
Grandpa could make fire
With two sticks,
Do tricks
With paper planes and cards.
And he thrilled my soul
With tales of the sea
And deserts harsh as they can be.
But best of all I loved being near
When he blew smoke out of his ear!
He took our photos
- made frames himself -
To go on Granny's special shelf.
He played the violin and what's more
He taught our dog to count to four!
And he painted woodlands, carved love spoons
On long, hot, drowsy afternoons.
When he died (I was three) they burned his stuff
The cigarettes that killed him, and his snuff
Box, paper planes and cards.
And the old brown photo in his Sunday best
Went up in smoke with all the rest.
I didn't know he'd gone,
For death was impossible then;
But now a life time later, with
More years than he had known
In those quiet moments
When the soul finds truth
I recall his kindly ways
And the tricks and tales he shared with me
In those far-off childish days.
He was a good man, by all accounts,
Teacher, friend and guide
Sent by a loving providence
It cannot be denied.
But best of all
I loved him dear
When he blew smoke out of his ear.
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Written by anaisanais (62 comments posted) 21st March 2008 |
| What a delightful and loving tribute - one any grandpa could be proud of! Well done you - very touching! |
Written by gutterkitty (362 comments posted) 21st March 2008 |
There is a decisive contrast between the first two stanzas and the next three- was that intentional? The first two seem rather trite, but then the next three have a much more poignant, contemplative tone. I definitely prefer those three but then the way you turn the jaunty rhyme on its head at the end wouldn't work without the first part. The rhyme falls apart in the fourth stanza- you might want to look to that. And I think the first part would feel less trite without the exclamation marks.
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Written by Phil (6645 comments posted) 21st March 2008 |
Liked this - effective in its portrait of your grandfather. Funny how one man's life is reduced to a specific et of memories. Phil |
If I said Written by patterjack (1159 comments posted) 21st March 2008 |
childlike would you please take that as a compliment and recognise that it has nothing to do with childish ? I got a bit of a heart twinge from it -- both my grandfathers endeared themselves to me with their idiosyncrasies I don't know if any emendations are necessary -- they might spoil the gentle naive quality of the work patterjack |
Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 22nd March 2008 |
I think this was is a very good piece, enjoyed the read. Bernie |
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