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By NedWilson
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21 March 2008 |
I love a well turned haiku and am particularly partial to Basho's verses. This is my attempt at saying something about age and autumn.
Autumn
The old man counts leaves
Falling on the ground
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Written by gutterkitty (362 comments posted) 21st March 2008 | | I'm afraid I'm not sure what this is meant to say about either autumn or old age...Care to enlighten me? |
Written by Fledermaus (3281 comments posted) 21st March 2008 | | I think I too need to think about the message, although it paints a clear picture in a few words. Perhaps he's in his own autumn and counting the leaves are the years he left behind? | season of life?
Written by mia_ms_kim (1017 comments posted) 21st March 2008 | I'm no poet, but when it comes to haikus I find I understand better if there are follow-up haikus to illuminate the first. I thought you were talking about that season of life, 'autumn', trees shedding leaves and anticipating winter. So the old man is in that season of life, he knows end will come for him too. He is counting his age, knowing it will be over when the next season comes, like the leaves on the ground. He will soon join them. Or something like that... Or maybe I got it totally wrong!
I enjoy all your poems by the way, though I don't comment on all of them.
Mia  |
Written by NedWilson (26 comments posted) 21st March 2008 | | I think a haiku is like a koan and needs to be worked through by oneself. |
Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 22nd March 2008 | I thought this very effective - 'got it' straight away. Simple description with layered meaning.
Phil
PS: What's a koan? |
Written by fellpony (1608 comments posted) 22nd March 2008 | | effective on several levels; a nicely judged piece of Japanese art containing all the essential elements - tight structure, seasonal reference, central idea, change of thought from line 1 to line 3. You know your stuff |
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