SCENE 2-ENTER GEORGIE
NARRATOR-Nothing came of the incident in the gents. However a certain Barrister had to change chambers in a hurry. Gerry was a godsend, teasing Arwen when she got stroppy and reminding Nigel what life had been like before he had found Arwen. Nigel and Gerry were at work so it was only Arwen who was in when Georgie arrived. Arwen answered the door and took Georgie into the kitchen.

ARWEN-Do you know we've all these rooms downstairs and we only ever use the kitchen, I think I'll take the telly out so we'll have to go into the lounge occasionally. What's the matter Georgie?

GEORGINA- My ex-husband took a 2^nd mortgage out on the house and he has defaulted, he has never made a single payment. The Mortgage Company have tried to find him, but he and she have just disappeared so they have got a possession order and are empowered to distrain the house and sell it. Once their debt is paid off, they will then pay off my Mortgage Company. There will be about £30k left which I shall receive. Thank god I never took Gerry in.

ARWEN-You've a home here.

GEORGINA- What will Nigel say?

ARWEN-What I want him to. I can be very persuasive in bed and don't forget he really loves his little sister. That wonder Barrister of his wasn't so clever after all, because he never thought of finding out what charges were settled against the house! I'll remind Nigel of that.

GEORGINA-Do you really love Nigel.

ARWEN-Oh yes, I've never been so happy in all my life despite losing a further 2 of my 4 children. I've got You, Gerry, Halfling, Threeson and Nigel.  For the 1^st time I've got a proper family. You see Threeson is a love and it's like getting my son back.

GEORGINA-Halfling is a delight I would love to think she's what my baby girl would have grown into. Why do you call her Halfling.

ARWEN-Its Nigels's name for her, he says that I'm an Elf but her father is merely mortal. So she is a Halfling-half elf and half human.

GEORGINA-Doesn't she mind?

ARWEN-No she prefers it to her name, which is Maude.

GEORGINA-Maude?

ARWEN-She was named after my Husband's mother. I seemed to have no say in the matter. My Husband sneaked off to the Registry Office and registered her birth. Her full name is Maude Briony! My ex-husband's name is Brian.

GEORGINA- No wonder she prefers Halfling.

*NARRATOR-Nigel arrives home and enters through the back door and into the Kitchen. Arwen takes him into the lounge and quickly tells him what has happened. He goes straight back into the kitchen and stares coldly at Georgina.

NIGEL- If you think I'm having you under my roof and under my feet, well, you're completely right.

NARRATOR- Georgie starts "blubbing". Nigel grabs hold of her and hugs her very tightly.

NIGEL- You can cut that out. You've got a choice of 3 bedrooms but we have run out of en-suite rooms, so I suggest the room next to the bathroom. This house never fails to amaze me 6 bedrooms and 5 toilets-3 ensuite, 1 upstairs bathroom and a downstairs cloakroom.  Its an ideal home for a vampire with bowel problems.

GEORGINA-What shall I do with my furniture?

NIGEL-There are not only 6 bedrooms but garage space for 6 cars. They're all dry and heated! We'll put your furniture in the double Garage that we don't use and we'll put the heating on.

*NARRATOR-Arwen who has been eavesdropping now enters the kitchen.

NIGEL-Arwen, how did you get to keep this house?

ARWEN-It was left to me in trust and on my death it will go to a member or members of my bloodline. So at the moment it will go to Halfling, as I can decide to whom it should go.

*NARRATOR-Gerry arrives home from work and enters the kitchen. He is quickly told what has happened.

GERRY- I'll borrow a van from work and Nigel, Threeson and I will help pack up and move your things.

NIGEL-Bugger that for a game of soldiers, I'll have a word with our Building Services Contractors, they owe me a favour. They do all our office moves, so with the tender coming up, I'm sure that they can give a little help. I'll drop the lads a little bit and I'll find something they could be legitimately doing. When have you got to get out?

GEORGINA-Unless I appeal I've got 28 days from the day I receive their payment.

ARWEN- When will that be?

GEORGINA- 4 weeks from yesterday.

NIGEL-You'll also have to make arrangements for a Broadband line and your own phone. Gerry has set up his own line; it saves a lot of rows over phone bills.

ARWEN-Nige as you've been such a good little boy, I think that you might be in for a treat.

NARRATOR- Arwen takes Nigel upstairs-she has no shame.

GERRY- I can't believe that this is how I've ended up. Once again I've got to thank Nigel. The rooms here are enormous endless cupboards and shelves that swallow up my handful of possessions.  The en-suite is bigger than the box room at my old house.

GEORGIE- I know what you mean, I've lost my little home and it's all going to be packed in a double garage in boxes or covered in sheets. I know its silly but I'll want to go and live in the garage. And what's worse I never noticed how like Dad Nigel is; he is even beginning to look like him.

GERRY- Have you noticed he slaps his legs and whistles like dad used to. Who am I like?

GEORGIE-As always you're just like Nigel, so get slapping them legs and whistling.

GERRY- You cheeky little cow, if you still had any I'd pull your pigtails.

GEORGIE- I'll get Daddy Nigel down and he'll give you a slippering!

GERRY -Do you remember I was about 12-13 and dad was laying into me and Nige thumped him and mum came down and got between them? We were sent upstairs.

GEORGIE- I heard Dad tell Nigel to "Sod off and don't come back" and Nigel put his coat on and went. I went down and told him he was the worst dad in all the world. Mum sent me upstairs.

GERRY-Mum went potty, dad soon shut up and went storming out down the Pub. You and me sobbed our  hearts out. We were gonna miss Nigel. Then Mum came up and said that Nigel was down Grans. Do you remember that time Nigel came in and he had bought us ice-creams.

GEORGIE-It was about 11 at night and we all sat in Nigel and your room. Nigel was drunk and fell asleep so we eat his ice cream as well. Mum shouted out "what's going on". So I shot back to my room.

GERRY-I put Nige in bed with all his clothes on, even his shoes and then got I into bed and pretended to be asleep.

GEORGIE -I ended up with 3 ice creams and was sick in the middle of the night.

GERRY-Yes and so was Nigel.

GEORGIE- Do you think they are really happy to have us here?

GERRY- Arwen said that it broke her heart to go into the 2 rooms that had been her youngest 2 daughters rooms. She'll never forgive them you know. Well they are 16 and 17 so they are not babies.

GEORGIE- Which room should I have.

GERRY- The one next to the loo. I got the middle girls room and you'll then have the other girl's room. How did she lose her 2 youngest.

GEORGIE-The Grandmother, his mother that is, told them all about Nigel but nothing about her son's woman.  They've all gone to live with the Grandmother. Brian I think that was his name was thrown out when his tart found out that this house was Arwen's
.
GERRY- Lets go and get your little bits and pieces

GEORGIE- I'll leave a note, bring your car as well and well fill them up with what we can get in.
 
GERRY-Take me to my yard and I'll pick up one of the vans and well see what we can get in the van and then we will fill your car.

GEORGIE-I hope they don't mind.

GERRY-From the noise Arwen's making I don't think they will notice.

NARRATOR- Georgie and Gerry sneak out the back and drive quietly away. After a little while all is quiet apart from Nigel's snoring.