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By Canadian_Bacon
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24 March 2008 |
I was looking at a short story from a while
back, and I liked what I had done with the opening, so I turned it into a poem. There's no rhythm or anything, but maybe it's alright anyway. I dunno.
The Big
City
Up here, in this dark apartment,
I sit alone. It’s quiet.
From my dew-dotted window,
I look down through a thick fog.
It wraps its misty fingers around the buildings,
And the cars, and the people, and the pets, and it
Chokes them.
It stifles them, and isolates them.
I watch dark outlines,
Drifting silently through the milky haze.
Like ghosts, but with a sense of purpose.
Headlights carve swaths of vision,
But only illuminate the bumper ahead of them.
The cars edge along, slowly,
With each window tightly shut,
And the volume dial turned to max;
Little metal boxes, stranded all alone, in a city of millions.
But my dew-dotted window,
Can protect me from the horror fog.
I turn on my television to drown out
The televisions above and beside me,
And then I fall asleep,
Alone.
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Written by Josie (2845 comments posted) 24th March 2008 | | i would hate to live high in an apartment looking down at fog. I live close to nature, with wild ducks, moorhens and lots of other wildlife in my garden. I look out across a small lake and, behind a convent, tower the moors. I'm only 10 minutes walk to the town though. Great. I have to tell you that I do prefer poems which have rhyme and rhythm (or metre), but I think you did quite a good job with this one. Which city do you live in? I used to live in Vancouver. | Written by Canadian_Bacon (120 comments posted) 24th March 2008 | I actually don't live in a city, I'm a born-and-raised suburbanite. Toronto is under an hour away, but I have no desire to actually live there. I wanted to write something about feeling isolated, and decided that the dehumanizing effect of large cities would be a good way to illustrate it.
| Hey Written by sarahh (18 comments posted) 25th March 2008 | Hey I really enjoyed this poem. I thought you did a really good job symbelizing isolation. I am also very impressed with the way you described the city at night and the apartment buildings. Nicely done. Sarah
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