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For Children
All Together - Stormy Weather - (Trochaic metre)
By Josie
26 March 2008
I've taken my poem ""Sleeping Through the Storm" one step further, using trochaic metre with the emphasis on the first stress followed by the light stress.  In this poem, however, I have used full trochees throughout, finishing each line on an "upbeat" or a light stress. To add sound, there's lots of onomatapoeia and alliteration, to make the storm rumble and tumble.  Children like these sound effects.   




                    Candle flutters, mother mutters;

                    Rain then patters, raindrops scatter;

                    Thunder rumbles; raindrops tumble;

                    Mother’s sighing, baby ‘s crying.

 

                    Rover’s growling, wild wind howling;

                    Cupboards shaking; cups are breaking;

                    Thunder clashes; lightning flashes;

                    Wild wind roaring - - - - -  father’s snoring!







Copyright 2008
www.whiteheadm.co.uk 

Reviews
Nice poem
Written by mr_soul (126 comments posted) 26th March 2008
Another lovely poem Josie, really enjoyed this one aswell. You really do have a great talent with words. Keep up the good work! 
All the best. 
 
Mr Soul

Written by Fledermaus (3229 comments posted) 26th March 2008
Nice one. The earlier version was longer, wasn't it? Either the lines or the whole poem... Enjoyable read.

Written by Josie (2721 comments posted) 26th March 2008
Fledermaus: No, it wasn't longer. I have put more emphasis on the first stressed beat in this poem, but much the same. I have probably improved it a little after my "studies". Thanks Mark - glad you enjoyed this poem.

Written by mosw30987 (17 comments posted) 26th March 2008
brilliant Josie. Very funny as well 8)
Thanks mos
Written by Josie (2721 comments posted) 26th March 2008
It's always great for me to get a review from a child because if children don't like what I write, then I might as well pack up and go home. ha ha. Thank you ever so much. I hadn't thought of it as being funny, but standing back and seeing it from where you are, I think you are right. Actually, a few weeks ago we came back from Tenerife and were so tired after such a long journey, we went to bed and slept through an earthquake which caused damage all over Britain. Remember it? I think the china was shaking and all these things too, but we slept through it. next day everyone else was talking about what we had missed. Yes, I can see the funny side now.

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