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By beatricelouise
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27 March 2008 |
My first Monchielle Poem
Format: Author Notes
Format requires six syllables per line, five lines per stanza, 4 stanzas with an Abcdc; etc.rhyme scheme. A is the repeated line in the beginning in each stanza.
This poem is written shortly following a fire near my hometown.
Pine branches lapping flames!
Red hot coals hiss and spit.
Dark clouds of smoke rise high.
Creatures thud an alert,
Necks out stretched, yearn to fly.
Pine branches lapping flames!
Wind gusts hurl to and fro,
fire shifts toward town.
Evacuation hums,
Departure wearing frown.
Pine branches lapping flames!
Fire fighters fly in
to kill the imposter,
before lives are taken.
Water on the roster.
Pine branches lapping flames!
Leaving behind black limbs.
Skeletal forms falling,
The odour repugnant,
choking. No more crawling. |
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Written by Fledermaus (3221 comments posted) 27th March 2008 | Must be scary. Luckily Canadians are well prepared for such situations. It seems they occur ever more (or are simply better covered by the media): Portugal, Greece, California, Australia...
Good poem. | I don't understand
Written by fellpony (1569 comments posted) 27th March 2008 | | -- why the fire is an "impostor". You achieved the rhyme scheme and included a lot of images of the fire, but I didn't take much sense from the structure, I'm afraid. |
Written by beatricelouise (215 comments posted) 27th March 2008 | Thank you Fledermaus for your most encouraging and kind review.
Did I have the word misspelled> I will have to check on that immediately. Impostor??? Hmm. Thanks for your opinion fellpony. | Correct either way!
Written by beatricelouise (215 comments posted) 27th March 2008 | One of those words which can be spelled either way. I felt the fire was imposing on people's lives and causing havoc. An imposter imposes is one definition.  | Great write...
Written by Steve_K (54 comments posted) 4th April 2008 | I wish I could write in this kind of way, with a somewhat set form and yet make it a very real and personal piece. I'm jealous  | Thank you!
Written by beatricelouise (215 comments posted) 4th April 2008 | Steve_K! You can do it. If I can, anybody can. Thanks for your kind review.
bea  |
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