When we were sixteen; when I were the little teenager.
I want to go to you
for happiness.
I will grow up and fly high
to search for your face
in the sea of clouds
in the seamless sky.
You must be there.
I want to go to you
for happiness.
However the road grows dark
however the night grows cold
I will walk alone
in the sea of the desert
in this seamless night.
I must find you.
I want to go to you
for happiness.
Every day I grow tall
and strong and taugh;
every night I grow a faith
in the sea of stars
in this seamless life.
I must grow up and fly away
then I will find you. |
Written by Josie (2845 comments posted) 27th March 2008 | | I am sorry you haven't had reviews. For myself, I look for structure in poetry, which distinguishes it above prose, and I find none in your poetry and much which comes onto GW. I cannot see, for example, what reason at all there is for writing words such as "for happiness" on a separate line. Perhaps you could enlighten me as to your thoughts on this matter. I am not singling you out, for I have seen it in other people's work and usually don't review it. | Written by lauthiamkok (60 comments posted) 27th March 2008 | Many thanks for the review Josie. I have noticed my weaknest on writing since long time ago even though I was still with with a mentor. Usually, I only use writing to create and finding poetic image, and I don't emphasise on the poetry structure. That's why some might note accept my thesis in writing poetic image. Thanks again! :-) | to Josie Written by lauthiamkok (60 comments posted) 28th March 2008 | Dear Josie, Many thanks for the email. And many thanks for the invitation. And for reading my profile. I do understand what you feel about the structure and form, metre and stress in writing a beautiful piece. I dont write poetry when I was little at all. I only read and enjoyed. I started writing about 4 or 5 years ago. Besides, English is not my first language by birth. I do know there are techniques to write English poetry. I did attend classes before in where I live in Plymouth and I did find those techniques help sometimes on my writing a piece of work. Personally I think, we should keep on what we think what is beauty. And at the same time, open for possibilities and freedom. Personally I think, we are free as a human being, so as a language. It should be set free as well. The nature of human being desires not to be suppressed, same as the poetic image in poetry or in a piece of writing. We cannot cage a human being to against his/her nature. When we do, this is call punishment for the prisoners for isntance. When the poetic image emerges in a piece of writing then it does happen naturally like a life of our children; if it is then it is. Nothing to do with our arbitrary rules or customs. I read and appreciate poetry since I was little; I studied and understand there are techniques. And I know and appreciate the structured fomes in English poetry or in other languages. But in deep what I am interested in is the poetic in poetry or in any kind of writing. Let's have a look in the references I have collected so far for what can be poetic or what a poetic image is where you can find it in any kind of writing/ language, not only in poetry/ English poetry. (1) "The poetic image is not subject to an inner thrust. It is not an echo of the past. On the contrary: through the brilliance of an image, the distant past resounds with echoes, and it is hard to know at what depth these echoes will reverberate and die away. Because its novelty and its action, the poetic image has an entity and a dynamism of its own; it is referable to a direct ontology.[…] The poet does not confer the past of his image upon me, and yet his image immediately takes roots in me. The communicability of an unusual image is a fact of great ontological significance." Gaston Bachelard (1884 - 1962), The Poetics of Space (195 , Introduction xvi, xvii. (2) "I only read and re-read what I like, with a bit of reader’s pride mixed in with much enthusiasm. But whereas pride usually develops into a massive sentiment that weighs upon the entire psyche, the touch of pride that is born adherence to the felicity of an image, remains secret and unobtrusive. It is within us, mere readers that we are, it is for us, and for us alone. It is a homely sort of pride. Nobody knows that in reading we are re-living our temptations to be a poet. All readers who have a certain passion for reading, nurture and repress, through reading, the desire to become a writer. When the page we have just read is too near perfection, our modesty suppresses this desire. But it reappears, nevertheless. In any case, every reader who re-reads a work that he likes, knows that its pages concern him. […]. In certain types of reading with which we are in deep sympathy, in the very expression itself, we are the “beneficiaries.” " Gaston Bachelard (1884 - 1962), The Poetics of Space (195 , Introduction xxvi. "The poetic image places us at the origin of the speaking being […]. The image offered us by reading the poem now become really our own. It takes root in us. It has given by another, but we begin to have the impression that we could created it, that we should have created it. It becomes a new being in our language, expressing us by making us what it expresses; in other words, it is at once a becoming of expression, and a becoming of our being. " Gaston Bachelard (1884 - 1962), The Poetics of Space (195 , Introduction xviii. (3) "(Aristotle) believes both painting and poetry to be forms of 'mimesis', a word which I shall translate as 'imitation' [...] Aristotle's contention, then, is that human beings are by nature prone to engage in the creation of likenesses, and to respond to likenesses with pleasure, and he explains this instinct by reference to their innate desire for knowledge [...] Aristotle's concept of poetry as imitation is therefore consistent with (although not identical) that of fiction. Indeed, the events in a poem do not even have to conform to the basic structure of reality." Malcolm Heath, Introduction, in Poetics, Aristotle. (4) "[…] There are reasons why this principle might apply to poetry especially. Poets must be able to project themselves into the emotions of others; natural talent, or even a touch of insanity, are necessary for this. Moreover, metaphor (which Aristotle regards as the most important feature of poetic language) depends on the ability to perceive similarities; this, he says, is a natural gift and cannot be taught. Aristotle is unlikely to have assumed, therefore, that reading Poetics would make someone good at composing poetry, and it is unrealistic to think of the Poetics as a do-it-yourself manual for would-be-poets. Aristotle’s interest is philosophical; that is, it is driven by his desire to understand. The production of good poems is an activity that can be understood, and the Poetics is an attempt to lay that intelligibility open to inspection." Malcolm Heath, Introduction, in Poetics, Aristotle. Best wishes, Lau
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