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Poetry
Summer time
By kitten_princess
28 March 2008
I haven't written anything for a really long time...
Comments would be really appreciated.

The summer we shared still
haunts my senses, even now.

I remember, too clearly,
each balmy hour we spent
under a fading willow tree;

we would create our own
picket fence
with arms and legs and hands
to keep the whole world out.

You were keeping me.
I loved you for it.

You fed me sorbet one day,
a blood-red pot of
ice and fruit and love.

I can still feel that
cold crunch and tang
on my lips,
your eyes always capturing mine,
as we shared a moment.
Your moment.

Our time.

Reviews

Written by andybyers (171 comments posted) 28th March 2008
I love the image of arms and legs as a picket fence, keeping out the world. What a masterstroke. The poem is timeless... there's not a human age that wouldn't understand this.

Written by Phil (6681 comments posted) 28th March 2008
Agree with Andy. He read my mind. Interesting end: your moment 
 
Phil

Written by Fledermaus (3246 comments posted) 28th March 2008
Nicely delivered. Very original metaphor indeed. A bit strange, but does work.

Written by Josie (2772 comments posted) 28th March 2008
Yes - love, but did you come down to earth and wash the dishes sometimes? We've just had our 40th wedding anniversary so I hope your love continues too.

Written by punchy (499 comments posted) 28th March 2008
Really lovely and I agree with Andy also.  
There were far more willow trees around when I was wee and I remember spending many a moment under one! ;)  
well written x

Written by no1butClo (337 comments posted) 1st April 2008
Good but not as punchy as your usual stuff, if you have to stop being true to life to give it your wonderful bitterness then do it! picket fence is wicked, as well as the blood red pot. 
 
Your poems appeal to the senses alot, you always use them to relate memory, which I like ^_^ 
 
good stuff princess 
 
magpie x

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