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Poetry
Awaken
By maipenrai
30 March 2008
This is one of those where you have no idea where it came from.

Awaken him you say?
why?
is it not better to let him sleep,
see, he is at rest,
peaceful
better that then his rightous anger
his swift and bloody vengeanace on those
who would disturb his sleep of eons.

Be at peace yourself,
for it will surely come to past
that when the time is right
he will awaken from his slumber,
then we will know the
anger and vengeance of the
forgotton one.

Blood shall flow like the
Rivers of Babylon
no mercy shall be shown to those who
have tainted his name with mockery,
your childrens heads shall hang
as a necklace around his bloody neck,
your women his whores for eternity,
and you,
you who are not worthy of his love
you will watch forever
the eternal torment of
your loved one's.

Reviews

Written by Phil (6435 comments posted) 30th March 2008
Not altogether with you on this one, Bernie. Last verse is pretty strong. Just let me know who it is so I can avoid him! 
 
Phil
Phil
Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 30th March 2008
Not sure myself about this one, started writing and ended up with this, looking at it now the only thing that I can think on is that "he" is some ancient god who as been forgotten and replaced by our more modern gods and he is not a very happy god mate :grin  
 
makes you wonder though whats in your sub-conscious!!! 
 
Bernie

Written by stevetroster (1430 comments posted) 1st April 2008
Hello, Bernie. 
 
I’ve recently made a decision to only comment on posts where I can say nice things and/or make constructive criticism. 
 
So: I like this, it has a lot of Jeremy about it and that appeals to me. 
 
Constructive criticism: Typo’s. 
 
“better that then (than) his rightous (righteous) anger 
“bloody vengeanace (vengeance) 
“will surely come to past (pass) 
“forgotton - forgotten” 
“childrens - children’s” 
 
Hope you don’t mind. 
 
All the best, 
Steve.
Hi Steve
Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 1st April 2008
Don't mind at all mate, thanks for the comments, taking the time and pointing out the spelling mistakes. 
Take Care. 
Bernie 
 
PS. what is/who is Jeremy??

Written by stevetroster (1430 comments posted) 1st April 2008
My extremely long drawn-out OTT story called Hell’s Angel. 
You can see it in Sci-Fi, but don’t go there if you’re a believer. 
 
Cheers, Bernie. 
All the best, 
Steve.

Written by Veronica_Milvus (492 comments posted) 1st April 2008
woo. Spooky. Not King Arthur, at a guess. Tony Blair maybe? Sounds like a few lines from an old testament prophet.
Hi
Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 1st April 2008
Veronica and good morning to you. 
 
Thanks for your comments, I hope it's not Blair in my sub -Conscious, that I think would be very unhealthy :grin  
I go for the old testament prophet. 
Bernie

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