Great Writing - Home > Poetry > Life's Displeasures
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1563 guests online and 4 members online
Poetry
Life's Displeasures
By Rattle_Spear
29 October 2005
I am a student of the Universe,
Poetry is my verse.
Religion is my history,
Experience my philosophy!

Each day I go through the vastness of the Universe,
Each day I have the same curse.
Death and destruction is everywhere to be seen,
Why is humanity so mean?

Friends can be shallow,
Graves dug so deep.
What about the abused children?
It all makes one want to weep!

Who is in control of the ghastly scenery,
Is it all left to insanity?
Why did he return to this Earth,
The South African named Mark Shuttleworth!

Reviews
looked up mr shutleworth
Written by kevinrobson73 (371 comments posted) 15th December 2005
he sounds a pompous pain but did not know of his existence prior to your poem 
 
think you could have had more impact by dropping the first paragraph  
and last two lines of last verse  
 
so it would read: 
 
Each day I go through the vastness of the Universe, 
Each day I have the same curse. 
Death and destruction is everywhere to be seen, 
Why is humanity so mean? 
 
Friends can be shallow, 
Graves dug so deep. 
What about the abused children? 
It all makes one want to weep! 
 
Who is in control of the ghastly scenery, 
 
Is it all left to insanity? 
 
powerful and concentrated 
Hi!
Written by Bagheera (683 comments posted) 16th December 2005
:grin Like Kevin, I didn't know of Mr. Shutleworth before, but I thought of ANOTHER Mr. Shuttleworth who wouldn't be popular if he were to return to South Africa: one of England.s best (and most feared !) bowlers of the late 50's .... :)
Life's pleasures or not
Written by Rattle_Spear (93 comments posted) 16th December 2005
Kevin/Bagheera 
Touche' 
I liked your reconstruction of the original poem. 
I am sure you could post the copy. 
Maybe we could even start an editing forum between the UK & Africa. 
Have fun, 
R-S :grin  
PS I also liked the suggestions. :( (frog)

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item