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Poetry
This is Not Poetry
By Veronica_Milvus
31 March 2008

OK, this is just something I wrote in five minutes because I just feel so strongly and couldn't be bothered to put any more time or effort into it.  So there.


THIS IS NOT POETRY

Out, in the playground

the older, rougher boys

have debagged the school bully

and are kicking him repeatedly

in his stupid head.

I think they should stop now.

He’s already dead.

Here, in the classroom

the other, quieter kids

are doodling on the margins

of their exercise books

or have their arms

protectively round their work.

They ain’t gonna tell you

what it’s all about.

You are supposed to guess

and if you can’t,

well, they are cleverer than you.

They don’t feel the need to

explain it to the rest of the class.

A few are scrawling

grafitti on the toilet wall.

Spelling their names

with fingers dipped in shit.

Some sort

of dirty protest, I suppose.

The teacher has turned her back

on us all to write

something on the blackboard

but nobody’s listening.

I’m just glad I’m not

the prefect in this school.

But me, I’m just looking out the window

wondering why my friend

ain’t at school today

and watching the clouds

roll by with their changing shapes

to see if they look like anything

I could write about.

Reviews

Written by Brett (720 comments posted) 31st March 2008
Very topical, V, very subtle and cleverly done. Does this end the lesson?

Written by anaisanais (62 comments posted) 31st March 2008
Well done, you capture the essence of much of todays youth - sadly. What went wrong with society - where did they become so disaffected by morals....?

Written by Josie (2718 comments posted) 31st March 2008
Quite right. Not a poem at all. Is this what teachers are teaching as poetry then? I think people on GW can recognize a poem that has had a lot of work put into it, where not only is the subject matter telling you something, but care has gone into its metrical form and also into rhyming (if it is a rhyming poem). I can see instantly when something has been typed onto the computer with little thought given to its poetic qualities. You need something more than subject material to make a poem a poem - or a verse a verse - or a rhyme a rhyme etc.

Written by fellpony (1569 comments posted) 31st March 2008
It's still streets ahead of many of the efforts you can find anywhere on the web (it's not limited to this site!) It had an opening and an end that referred to the whole. It was spelt correctly and it made sense grammatically. The whole described a scene was coherent, if not pleasantly so.  
 
I know it didn't rhyme or have a set structure, but it told its tale and said what it meant to say. You'll have to try harder to write truly awful poetry :) 
 
Is it time to revive the Wergle Flomp? the awful, but comical, poem written awfully by design?

Written by anaisanais (62 comments posted) 31st March 2008
Poetry does not have to be in strict form to be poetry, free verse is good example and actively encouraged and taught ... you don't have to be an academic to write or enjoy good poetry, if you're getting read then you're doing something right ... Poetry for all I say!!!

Written by stevetroster (1549 comments posted) 31st March 2008
The jury seems to be out - as to whether this is poetry and what the message is.  
 
I’ve read it three times, have formed my own opinion as to the message and, poetry or not, I think it’s splendid.  
 
We are currently in recess and next term looks far more promising. I just hope that people don’t keep bunking off! 
 
All the best, 
Steve. 

Written by Veronica_Milvus (591 comments posted) 31st March 2008
Too late. One of our classmates has scaled the school walls and done a bunk.

Written by stevetroster (1549 comments posted) 31st March 2008
It's when the teachers decide to bunk off that I shall start to worry. 
 
#3
I disagree
Written by patterjack (1158 comments posted) 31st March 2008
I totally disagree with Josie . This has all the hallmarks that are basic to poetry  
 
Every word used has sense feeling tone and intention in full degree. 
 
It develops to a point that is well , though indirectly , made , beginning with the words But me .  
 
But I am repeating FP ! 
 
If I have a criticism it is via an old old mantra of mine about line length . Whereas a schoolchild's thought processes could indeed be shown as short and jerky , there are times when they do flow together in a rush and some lines could be enjambed . 
 
But it's your poem , after all . Shape it as you will -- and well :grin  
 
I liked it a lot , anyway .

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