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By Josie
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31 March 2008 |
On the river’s surface
Light has fallen as from Heaven itself
Lightness – brightness - lucidity,
Sprinkled, as if with silver fairy dust,
To dance, move and bewitch
Amongst the latticework of branches
Reflected in the cold, dark water.
High abovc the river’s surface
Peagreen buds on trees announce that
Spring will soon reveal herself/.
Children shout, birds sing, water ripples,
And the sun shines from a cloudless sky.
Don’t be fooled, though -
Winter is still shaking his finger at us.
Copyright 2008
www.whiteheadm.co.uk|
Written by Veronica_Milvus (630 comments posted) 31st March 2008 | Oh Bravo!
One of the best pieces you've done. I like you in blank! The last line was a real punchline and "The latticework of branches / reflected in the cold dark water" was VISIBLE in front of my eyes. |
Written by anaisanais (62 comments posted) 31st March 2008 | | very nicely worked, beautiful picture painted. Well done. |
Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 31st March 2008 | | Thank you both. Our River Wharfe is dark brown, and when the sun shines, you could be looking into a cup of milkless tea. Lovely colours look back at you, golds, ambers and browns. The water is as pure and clean as water can be. My dog would drink this in preference to water from the tap. It takes its colour from the peat soil over which it flows from the hills around. Absolutely breath-taking some days. Today it flowed along quickly as we've had lots of rain, but the sunlight on the river shone as silver sprinkled on it. |
Written by stevetroster (1549 comments posted) 31st March 2008 | I have to agree with V, Bravo, I too like you blank. Probably my favourite poem you've penned (tapped out).
More like this, please. |
Written by Lizzy (793 comments posted) 31st March 2008 | Good one Josie.
It is a lovely time of year but as you say, don't trust it.
You illustrated Spring very well, or was it a comment on Life?
Lizzy
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Written by philkent (157 comments posted) 31st March 2008 | Lovely poem Josie, evocative with some brilliant imagery. Resonates with me as I'm looking out of my window. Hope you're wrong in the last line though.  | Change of direction
Written by patterjack (1194 comments posted) 31st March 2008 | Interesting ! I am not going to try to analyse the metre -- but I think the rhythm of lines 9 - 10 could be amended .
Again interesting is your use of Lightness – brightness - lucidity, close synonyms ( happily not too close though ) but unfortuately abstracts in an otherwise concrete - worded poem. Not too keen of fairies myself , either .
But good work
patterjack |
Written by mia_ms_kim (1019 comments posted) 31st March 2008 | Beautiful. After reading your own review comment, I thought what a beautiful place to live by the river etc etc, then I wondered perhaps it's you, Josie, who has the unique ability to see beauty where others might not. I used to complain about the murky river near where I once lived. To me it looked dirty and muddy, and I used to wonder how the fish could live there without being aphyxiated. Perhaps beauty really is in the eye of the beholder...
Mia  |
Written by Merioneth (79 comments posted) 15th April 2008 | Loved "the latticework of branches". You have a keen eye for beauty and your optimism is astounding.
Whenever I read your work I think about how I would have written about the same subject. Like our poems about bees, you have an optimistic take on seemingly everyting, while I am dangerously close to being a real cynic. I hope some of your outlook and obvious zeal for life rubs off on me. |
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