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Written by fellpony (1616 comments posted) 1st April 2008 |
Quite a lot of skill in this one WT - albeit another bit of meta-poetry.
I think you've made your point, but both this and another piece on Shorts are skating on thin ice as regards directly referencing other members of the site. Caution please - you have the ability to produce work with wider vision than this.
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Written by stevetroster (1549 comments posted) 1st April 2008 |
I don’t know if I should be offended or not? And therein lays the problem. I can’t understand anything that you write. You quite often come up with some quite wonderful and individual one-liners but then submerge them in the oblique.
However, let me have a look at a few parts in more detail.
“petty translucence of aged Holmes.” Is that a dig at Brett’s poem? Are you upset that I liked it?
“scarab ’d cockroaches.” Is like saying Wasp’d Bees. It makes no sense.
“Orshalim’s groves.” No, I’m not Jewish and have never been to Jerusalem.
“Souls that cast upon him a shadow of admiration.” Jealous, perhaps?
Still, St. Stephen! Elevation to Sainthood!! I can’t grumble at that!!! Cheers!!!!
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fellpony
Written by wt (137 comments posted) 1st April 2008 |
point well taken dear
respect
wt
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stevetroster
Written by wt (137 comments posted) 1st April 2008 |
there is a message of redemption there
keep taking care
wt
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Written by stevetroster (1549 comments posted) 1st April 2008 |
Wt - (if only you had a name) - in my reviews of your poetry I have never tried to offend you, I only try to highlight just how frustrating it is for people when you not only write in riddles but also respond to your reviews in poetic riddles.
If you were to answer your critiques in plain English (and perhaps offer a few reviews of other members works in plain English) then I’m certain that you could please a lot of people.
However, you could quite easily alienate yourself and no-one wants to see any more members leaving GW (by whatever means). All I ask (and ignore me if you wish) is that you join in a bit more, in such a way that I can understand and appreciate what it is that you are trying to say.
I did notice that you had a short conversation with Bernie about your recent tour of a troubled nation. More of that, please.
I thought that your piece “mypenrai’s war stories” was very good, and perhaps I should have said so at the time, but then on the same day you also came up with “poets my arse” which frustrated the hell out of me.
anyway, I shall now go away and not darken your doorstep again.
Best wishes and apologies,
Steve. |
steve
Written by wt (137 comments posted) 1st April 2008 |
thanks for the kind words steve
i accept your frustration at some of my work and perhaps you can appreciate that some of your work (regarding bears, farts and the like) can be distasteful to others too and that they might then repost in kind and in their own styles...but enough of that
there is no darkness in your expression and despite what you say, you are not one to go away!
regards
wt
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Out of line
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3362 comments posted) 1st April 2008 |
A cryptic piece,I suppose bit like a poetical crossword and I don't have the mindset for it.
I notice that your piece seems to have upset it's subject who like the person he lampooned recently likes to dish it out but can't take it himself. Funny that they should be so much alike and hate each other so strongly. But then again I suppose it isn't [and I loved the way he ended with "best wishes" good one!
cheers
jane
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Ooooops!!!!!!
Written by stevetroster (1549 comments posted) 1st April 2008 |
Sorry wt, I did say that I wouldn’t darken your doorstep again. But it appears that even though you were happy to accept my reply in an honourable fashion, another member was not, and I feel that I must respond.
Dear Jane, “I notice that your piece seems to have upset it's subject”
No, not at all. If you’d read my actual reply; instead of reading between the lines, I suggested that I was honoured by my Sainthood but bemused by the cryptic delivery of wt’s poem.
However, to quote one of your own recent reviews: “You obviously spent a lot time of your one and only life on this. I am tempted to ask... Why?”
I know that you are upset with GW at the moment, but there must be more to life than lurking around looking for people to get upset about, or are you thinking about joining us and making it a threesome?
And to quote one of your recent posts: “What is it about poetry? I'm afraid I've given up on the forum.”
It’s nice to see you helping matters along by offering constructive criticism on wt’s poetry.
Cheers!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, and wt. I've removed the fart poem but don't remember one about bears?
Oh! PS. Even just a first name would do.
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Written by Veronica_Milvus (637 comments posted) 1st April 2008 |
St Stephen...
The first martyr, stoned to death.
We throw flowers at thy shrine. |
Written by Brett (785 comments posted) 1st April 2008 |
Even if the line alluded to my admittedly lame clerihews, I thought you attempted to put your point across rather quaintly.
I am not ashamed to admit that I found his (or would you prefer His?) book enlightening, but being an atheist why would I want to canonize anybody?
I admit that my output has been limited of late (working in the day, barely sober by tea time) but I do hope that I have learnt a little something about poetry. But, that aside; why 'aged Holmes'? I have a theory, but please satisfy my curiosity.
Cheers
Brett |
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