Some time ago patterjack asked me if I had ever attempted an Englyn; to the shame of my nation I had never even heard of one. As far as I understand there are eight forms of Englynion, the form I have chosen is unodl union. Stay with me here, it consists of four lines syllablically 10,6,7 and 7. The 7th, 8th, or 9th syllable of the first line introduces the rhyme (I have chosen the 8th) this rhyme then ends the following three lines. Also the part of the first line following the rhyme alliterates with the beginning of the second line - all clear.
It has been said that a true Englyn has only four lines, so you can look at the below as a collection of Englynion with a central theme.
Whatever the outcome I thank patterjack for the challenge, I found it enjoyable, the form could become addictive.
When two tributaries become one river
Rememberances are gone
Of rocks that bare scars upon
Themselves where the streams begun.
Stoic rocks burdened with these tears, mournful,
Muted, content. Such years'
Weeping I cannot revere;
Your silence all too unclear.
I break the water, grasp a stone, aged and
Aged by water alone:
When the time comes to atone
What of me, I'm flesh and bone?
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Sigh of envy Written by patterjack (1179 comments posted) 1st April 2008 |
Three Leeks Award !!! patterjack |
3 leeks Written by Brett (759 comments posted) 1st April 2008 |
| That's how many times I had to go writing the damned thing. And I have to blame you, patterjack, as I read your Listening to Bix earlier this evening. I thought that I would just listen to Jazz Me Blues and Riverboat Shuffle - well one cd and three martinis later I remembered to write the above. Thanks for the inspiration. |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (603 comments posted) 2nd April 2008 |
Hi Brett I read this at work this morning but waited until I had a bit more time to re-read before commenting because I was very impressed. From your intro, this is a tricky form. I don't think I would ever attempt anything with so many rules - you must enjoy crosswords or sudoku to get a kick out of that! However the content is the thing most noticeable. I'm not sure why it is called an "Englyn" because it is Welsh... but the scene sounds very much like a Welsh valley. So the water "forgets" the rocks that it flowed over, it has now moved on and become something else, I liked that image, and the poor old rocks are sad because they get left behind, and aged. A metaphor for parenthood, maybe, or just for getting worn down by life. I like your phrase ..."aged and aged by water alone" Wonder what it would sound like in Welsh? |
Sudoku... Written by Brett (759 comments posted) 2nd April 2008 |
and other puzzles do it for some, I like messing about with poetic structure, but as I have said this is my first attempt at an englyn. Google it and you may wish to try one the eight forms. I can see your reasoning in the rocks being left behind by the ever flowing water, but what I was trying to say (and failing maybe) was that if the constant trickle of the purest water can erode the surface of the rocks over which it flows, then what effect would a sinner's guilt have upon his conscience - hence the last two lines. But that will be my ineptitude of both expressing myself generally and trying to do it in the confines of a new structure. Cheers V |
Written by Veronica_Milvus (603 comments posted) 2nd April 2008 |
ooh, deep, and not just the water. I will look at it again. |
Written by Josie (2780 comments posted) 4th April 2008 |
| Congratulations on trying a different and difficult poem Brett. |
Thanks Josie Written by Brett (759 comments posted) 4th April 2008 |
But the form is not as hard as it sounds, a harder version consists of the lines being syllablically 7,7,10 and 6, the 1st, 2nd and 4th lines ending in rhyme, and the 7th, 8th or 9th syllable of the 3rd line rhyming. If you can make the content really come through they are worth trying. Cheers |
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