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Desert Home

By owlhoot

02 April 2008

I will let you draw your own conclusions about this work. Each five line group has eleven syllables and rhymes on the sixth and ninth syllables of each line. It makes better reading than speaking... it is hard to keep the rhythm while speaking it.

Dry desert winds blowing brown dirty clouds by
Dead tumbleweeds rolling through empty grain fields
Cock pheasant sits crowing by rusty junk cars
Twin rutted roads leading past lonely homesteads
Jackrabbit trails winding through prickly sagebrush

Such is the world I have chosen to live in.

Dust devils rise twisting from gritty sand dunes
Dawn mirage comes painting false pretty landscapes
Tall mountain peaks standing with snowy whitecaps
Blue sunny sky touching each hazy hilltop
Proud eagle flies circling on lazy wingtips

Such is the home I have chosen to live in.

Black ravens sit croaking from knotty fence posts
Small lizards hide living in brushy sand drifts
Geese going south flying from chilly north winds
Lone mountain cat leaving tracks newly walked in
Deer passing near running on quickly leave sight

Such is the world I have chosen to live in.

Reviews

lot of effort expended
Written by patterjack (1194 comments posted) 1st April 2008

Seems to be partake of the catalogue style of writing-- so beloved by the setters of Creative Writing class assignments.

And I personally could not consider those feminine endings of -ing and -ly as constituting rhyme per se .

But congratulations on the work you have put into this .

patterjack

Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 2nd April 2008

Yes, congratulations, but may I ask you: Are you not allowed to put in any punctuation? You need this to make sense of something. Otherwise you have done an excellent job,

Written by Veronica_Milvus (637 comments posted) 2nd April 2008

Some very evocative language as a portrait of the landscape. I understand patterjack's point that is is a bit "listy" but enjoyed it none the less. Where is it?

I hope you will go on to tell us about some of the people and events of this place.

You obviously love it very much.

Written by owlhoot (17 comments posted) 2nd April 2008

I live in southwestern Utah. We have a delightful mix of mountains, desert, and woods. The high desert averages around 5000' elevation. The low desert is around 2500'. In an hours drive I can leave home at about 1 mile elevation and drive south to 3000 feet and be in a completely different geography. Yes, I like it here.

Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 4th April 2008

I enjoyed your poem with all its descriptions owlhoot. Thanks

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