I am looking to put on this play in August so I have about a month before rehearsal starts and i am a little behid, so would really appreciate feedback and general opinions. Also I will brush up the format of the script, but just now i am interested in the actual content. Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read it and leave a comment!!!
An old looking sickly fairy wrapped up in a brown cloak is leaning over a sleeping drunk.
Fairy: Sir! Wake up…Sir! We haven’t got long.
The fairy coughs and acts quite frail.
Fairy: John? Mark? Paul? (looks around location) Reverend?
Fairy tries to get wallet out his pocket, but in his sleep he smacks her hand. She pulls it back…
Fairy: Jesus!
He rises up to a sitting position, but he’s still asleep.
Fairy (puzzled): Sir?
In his sleep he raises a finger up to silence her, he plays blackjack in his sleep (miming it). He shuffles, deals out cards, and loses, and as he throws his hand down, he falls back down – still asleep, and snores. The fairy again tries to get his wallet but her hand gets stuck as he puts his hand over hers. He smiles in a cheeky way.
Drunk: That’ll cost you extra…
Disgusted she pulls her hand out with the wallet – as Velcro from opening the wallet makes noise, he awakes and rises up. The fairy doesn’t notice as is inspecting the wallet. He grabs it.
Fairy: Hey…
Drunk searches wallet.
Drunk: There’s nothing in this?
Fairy: It’s yours.
Drunk: Ah, of course. How much do you want it for?
Fairy: There’s a hole in it.
Drunk: Nonsense – you can fit a bottle in it (puts it over a bottle) – stops the bottle from falling and smashing (demonstrates), keeps the hands young…but it’ll cost you extra for the bottle...
Drunk yawns.
Fairy: Here, I can’t have you drifting off again.
Gets fairy dust out.
Fairy: Now, open your eyes wide.
She blows in his eyes – he grabs face in agony.
Drunk: You’ve blinded me!
Fairy: Don’t be ridiculous your eyes are just closed….. yes yes the fairy dust might be slightly acidic, but I bet you don’t feel like sleeping now?
Drunk: I could put you to sleep.
D goes under some reaction from the fairy dust.
Drunk: Wow, wow, I feel like all the broken glass rattling in my head has melted into a perfect swan.
Fairy: Yes that sounds about right.
Fairy lifts his chin to look at her.
Fairy: Welcome to the real world.
Drunk looks at her all over for the first time, and looks amazed jumps back.
D: You’re an angel…
F (with her purpose back): I think you need a drink
F hands him a drink. He drinks while looking at her, screwing up his face. F buzzes with transformation, and is able to straighten up.
Fairy: It’s good to breath.
D: Now, what?
F: Take another drink. (she crosses her fingers, looking at breasts)
She again buzzes with transformation as he drinks, and uncovers top part of her body, and she is pleased with breasts.
F: (to self) Ah they’re not sagging anymore.
D: Are you testing me angel?
F: For what?
D For my worthiness to enter his kingdom, for I’ve lived a life of sin, and my soul needs saved.
Fairy (dismissive): Oh that – no, don’t worry about it. Take another drink. (crossing her fingers, looking at breasts)
D: No!
Fairy: No? How can refuse an angel?
D: You are testing me.
Fairy: I’m not.
Fairy tries to get him to drink.
D: I’m not thirsty!
F: Sure you are! Everyone’s thirsty for something.
D: Thank you very much, but no. I’m not thirsty.
F: I’m insulted, you don’t even trust an angel?
D: You know my life, Angel. I’ve had very little reason to trust anyone.
F: (annoyed, hidden guilt) Well trust me!
Again pushes bottle at him to drink.
D: But why must I drink? Why would God send an angel to tell a drunk to drink?
F: You question Him?
D: Well, yes – I do not understand.
F: No of course you don’t! Look at me – I’m still not attractive for anyone now – this hair, this face, this body, well…(indicates everything else below breasts) How can I inspire anyone, if not myself? You must drink to save me, you’re healing an angel by drinking, you’re washing your sins away.
He doesn’t respond, she walks off.
A stranger walks passed as he calls out ‘Angel!’, after her and the stranger taking pity hands him some money, another stranger comes past and he purposely shouts angel, and again after him as the second man tries to ignore him. He gets up and shouts ‘angel’ after second man who turns around gives him money and tells him to stay off drink.
D sits back down, looks up to the sky suspiciously.
D: I thought you’d left me. Laura are you up there?.... I’d drink to you, but you never did like that…
D takes a small drink, then another, and drinks lots. Assesses bottle.
D: I don’t even feel drunk.
Tries to stand while shouting ‘Angel!’, but falls.
Fairy enters, looking youthful.
F: My boy! You did it! You saved me.
D holds head.
D: Ouch! I think the swan in my head just smashed into a thousand pieces.
F: Nothing that some more absinthe wouldn’t help.
She hugs him, and admires self.
F: What do you think?
D: Nice.
F: That was close. It burns terribly when I go, like demons are searing my skin with red hot needles. (has needle mark on body?) Promise me, you’ll never let them take me?
D: How could they take you if you don’t belong in hell? You’re a queer angel, never known angels to be green.
F: Green is my favourite colour.
D: Oh they let you choose your own uniform?
F: Green is the colour of nature, I like it.
D: Also the colour of envy.
F: (dismissive) How could I be envious? Tell me what do you want from life?
D: I don’t know.
F: Then why are you living?
D: I wasn’t aware that I was. Du du, chish
F: What?
D: You know the drums at the end of a joke.
F: Well that’s hilarious. How can you take your existence as nothing?
D: Because my wife and child are dead, what is there to want apart from peace? Nothing is done without it, and everything destroyed.
F: I imagine you have all the peace you could ever have – I imagine no one ever bothers you.
D: Ha! No one bothers with me… Being alone isn’t peaceful. I’ve never been so tormented. I think you and I are very different.
F: Stop feeling sorry for yourself. I don’t want to hear this!
D: Then what do you want to hear?
F: How about a compliment?
D: You’re no angel! A cruel spirit – that’s what you are! – or have I been so foolish to mistake a person dressed up…?
F: I myself prefer to dress down, it’s always best to put your shoes on last.
D: What are you? Why do you torment me?
F: You’re right though, I am a spirit. I’m the green fairy. Sorry to deceive you, but now that we’re being honest I can help you, inspire you to what ever it is that you desire. Tell me what do you desire?
D: I told you, I want nothing! - Especially not from you.
F: You don’t mean that! Everyone wants – humans are animals without desires…
D: You mean we’re animals with desires?
F: You need reason to live, to build your life back – I could be that inspiration.
D: What a nasty shadow – I can see straight through you.
F: I’m not who you think I am. I want to help. I should have been straight with you to begin with. We need materials – I can sense you’re an artist.
D: Why do you care so much? You seem so burdened with me?
F: I do care, I just went about it the wrong way. I want to help!
D: Yes, help yourself. I want you to go! I don’t need you.
F: You’re thinking about drinking. In three days from now it will be the anniversary of the car crash, and your daughter’s birthday.
D: How did you get into my head? I told you, I want you to stop harassing me!
F: Then do something about it!
D: Ok, I will
D picks up bottle, raises bottle and goes for fairy
F: What are you doing? You’re only hurting yourself.
D hits fairy, and at the same time D feels pain. Fairy laughs.
F: Don’t you get it?
D: No, no, no!
F: We’re not different, we’re the same.
D: I’ve finally lost it - Laura always said I’d lose my mind to drink, and there it is I’ve got split personalities with a bloody …green fairy.
F assesses body and hesitates, thinks about speaking.
D: You know what? –I will get rid of you.
He knocks over bottle.
F: Well I never wanted you! What a waste! We could have gotten out of this place, and bettered ourselves. But I still don’t believe there’s nothing that you want – but no let’s just sit here and wait for …death.
D: That’s the spirit!
He smiles to himself. Tries to pat her shoulder, she shrugs him off.
D: Come now, who’s feeling sorry for themselves now?
F: Humour me – if you don’t have any desires, do you have any complaints? Come on give me something.
D: I told you, I don’t…
F: Just give me something.
D: …the quality of newspaper I have to sleep on.
F: Well what do you want – hard hitting quality journalism? No more tabloids, I’ll get you the finest broadsheets there are.
D: Strange as it is, I think you and I are very different.
Fairy smiles.
F: So what now? You are going to stop drinking?
D: For now. You could stay, but you cause me too much pain just being here.
F: But you’re all alone and have never been so tormented?
D: Perhaps I do need a companion, just not the fairy from my head.
F: Well you’re not going to find anyone else here.
D goes to leave.
F: Hey maybe I did inspire you afterall?
D stops turns to look at her, then leaves.
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Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3298 comments posted) 17th April 2008 | My first thought here was; how will you stage it? You need to make it obvious that it is a fairy, which might be difficult if it is in an old coat. And it isn’t till we get to the mention of fairy dust that we know it is a genuine fairy and not a refugee from a fancy dress party. I’m also a bit puzzled by
“buzzes with transformation”
I must admit I found it difficult to follow the dialogue at times and wasn’t sure where it was going or what the theme was. It was oddly addictive, if only to try and orientate myself in the play. You did make a few interesting points but I couldn’t tie it all together. I think a bit more exposition at the beginning would help and you’ll have to think carefully about staging it
Good luck
Jane
| Angels & Demons
Written by coosh (844 comments posted) 18th April 2008 | "Oddly addictive" is right - the dialogue was certainly intriguing enough to want to know where it was going. It seemed to divide into various parts. There's a certain Ionesco/Beckett/Godot-type absurdity to the exchanges in the first half (enhanced by the subsequent mention of absinthe) - by the time he started shouting "angel" to the strangers, I'd figured he was trying to test out what was fantasy and what was reality.
Bit by bit (I felt) the fairy appears to represent his past and his fears, in particular the guilt at having killed his wife and child in a drink-driving accident (yes??), but he himself is still not prepared to face these demons. Some areas remain an enigma - stealing the wallet, for example, (driving licence??), the swan, and (as above) the "buzzing with transformation". I could see the characters on stage performing it - Overall, strangely intriguing. |
Written by CaptainZeep (2 comments posted) 17th May 2008 | here is a redrafted version of it. I think it definitely has more of an ending. And thanks for the reviews 
An old looking sickly fairy wrapped up in a brown cloak is leaning over a sleeping drunk
Fairy: Sir! Wake up…Sir! We haven’t got long.
The fairy coughs and acts quite frail.
Fairy: Come on you! … John? Mark? Paul? (looks around location) (some what sarcastically to herself) Reverend?...let’s see who you are….
Fairy tries to get wallet out his pocket, but in his sleep he smacks her hand. She pulls it back…
Fairy: Jesus!
He rises up to a sitting position, but he’s still asleep.
Fairy (puzzled): Sir?
In his sleep he raises a finger up to silence her, he plays blackjack in his sleep (miming it). He shuffles, deals out cards, and loses, and as he throws his hand down, he falls back down – still asleep, and snores. The fairy again tries to get his wallet but her hand gets stuck as he puts his hand over hers. He smiles in a cheeky way.
Drunk: That’ll cost you extra…
Disgusted she pulls her hand out with the wallet – as Velcro from opening the wallet makes noise, he awakes and rises up/ she opens wallet and coughs at dust. The fairy doesn’t notice as is inspecting the wallet. He grabs it.
Fairy: Hey…
Drunk searches wallet.
Fairy: Sir…
Drunk: There’s nothing in this?
Fairy: It’s yours.
Drunk: Ah, of course. How much do you want it for?
Fairy: There’s a hole in it.
Drunk: Nonsense – you can fit a bottle in it (puts it over a bottle) – stops the bottle from falling and smashing (demonstrates), keeps the hands young…but it’ll cost you extra for the bottle...
Drunk yawns.
Fairy: Here, I can’t have you drifting off again.
Gets fairy dust out.
Fairy: Now, open your eyes wide.
She blows in his eyes – he grabs face in agony.
Drunk: You’ve blinded me!
Fairy: Don’t be ridiculous your eyes are just closed…..you’re covering your eyes of course you can’t see… Yes, yes my fairy dust might be slightly acidic, and might lead to a loss of insight, but never sight…… although I bet you don’t feel like sleeping now?
Drunk: I could put you to sleep.
Fairy: I never sleep: sleep is for those who wish for the ‘future’.
Drunk: Just sleep when you’re tired.
D goes under some reaction from the fairy dust. The fairy appears less humble, smiles.
Drunk: Wow, wow, what was that stuff? I feel like all the broken glass rattling in my head has melted into a perfect swan.
Fairy: Yes that sounds about right.
Fairy lifts his chin to look at her.
Fairy: Welcome to the real world.
Drunk looks at her all over for the first time, and looks amazed jumps back, screams.
D: You’re, you’re, you’re …an… angel…
F (with her purpose back): My son, I think you need a drink
F hands him a drink. He drinks while looking at her, screwing up his face. F buzzes with transformation, and is able to straighten up.
Fairy: It’s good to breath.
D: Now, what?
F: Take another drink. (she crosses her fingers, looking at breasts)
She again buzzes with transformation as he drinks, and uncovers top part of her body, and she is pleased with breasts.
F: (to self) Ah near perfect.
D: Are you testing me angel?
F: For what?
D For my worthiness to enter his kingdom, for I’ve lived a life of sin, and my soul needs saved.
Fairy (dismissive): Oh that – no, don’t worry about it. Take another drink. (crossing her fingers, looking at breasts)
D: No!
Fairy: No? How can refuse an angel?
D: You are testing me.
Fairy: I’m not.
Fairy tries to get him to drink.
D: I’m not thirsty!
F: Sure you are! Everyone’s thirsty for something.
D: Thank you very much, but no. I’m not thirsty.
F: I’m insulted, you don’t even trust an angel?
D: You know my life, Angel. I’ve had very little reason to trust anyone.
F: (annoyed, hidden guilt) Well trust me!
Again pushes bottle at him to drink.
D: But why must I drink? Why would God send an angel to tell a drunk to drink?
F: You question Him?
D: Well, yes – I do not understand.
F: No of course you don’t! Look at me – I’m still not attractive for anyone now – this hair, this face, this body, well…(indicates everything else below breasts) How can I inspire anyone, if not myself? You must drink to save me, you’re healing an angel by drinking, you’re washing your sins away.
He doesn’t respond, she walks off.
A stranger walks passed as he calls out ‘Angel!’, after her and the stranger taking pity hands him some money, another stranger comes past and he purposely shouts angel, and again after him as the second man tries to ignore him. He gets up and shouts ‘angel’ after second man who turns around gives him money and tells him to stay off drink. ‘you’ll just use it to buy drink’ ‘no I won’t’ ‘you were just shouting ‘angel’’ ‘I’m religious.’ ‘Well here, stay off the religion, mate.’ / ‘then what will you buy?’ ‘umm…shoes’ ‘shoes?’ ‘yeah’ ‘I’m not going to give you money if you can afford to feed yourself’ ‘I can’t, my feet are all blistered’, ‘well what do you expect you’re living on the street’
D sits back down, looks up to the sky suspiciously.
D: I thought you’d left me. Laura are you up there?.... I’d drink to you, but you never did like that…
D takes a small drink, then another, and drinks lots. Assesses bottle.
D: I don’t even feel drunk.
Tries to stand while shouting ‘Angel!’, but falls.
Fairy enters, looking youthful.
F: My boy! You did it! You saved me.
D holds head.
D: Ouch! I think the swan in my head just smashed into a thousand pieces.
F: Nothing that some more absinthe wouldn’t help. In fact if doctors could prescribe absinthe no one would die alone.
She hugs him, and admires self.
F: So, what do you think?
She spins round, is in a way trying to intise him, and spins around him.
D: Nice.
F: Just, nice? Is ‘nice’ a compliment to you?
D: Well I didn’t want to come across too strong. I’m not good with social situations, etiquette, all that always lost on me.
F: Yes, well I imagine there’s no etiquette for living in rubbish, everyone’s painfully aware they’re equal.
D: And I didn’t want to over please you. I wanted to keep your interest in me.
F: Well you miscalculated. I’m one of those rare beings whose interest always increases with satisfaction.
D: You’re beautiful.
F: Yes… I am now. It burns terribly when I disappear, like demons are searing my skin with red hot needles. (has needle mark on body?) Promise me, you’ll never let them take me?
D: How could they take you if you don’t belong in hell? You’re a queer angel, never known angels to be green.
F: Green is my favourite colour.
D: Oh they let you choose your own uniform?
F: I didn’t choose the colour; all I could do was choose it to be my favourite. Besides green is the colour of nature, I like it.
D: Also the colour of envy.
F: So, tell me what do you want from life?
D: …I don’t know…
F: Then why are you living?
D: I wasn’t aware that I was. Du du, chish
F: What?
D: You know the drums at the end of a joke.
F: Well that’s hilarious. How can you take your existence as nothing?
D: Because my wife and child are dead, what is there to want apart from peace? Nothing is done without it, and everything destroyed.
F: I imagine you have all the peace you could ever have – I imagine no one ever bothers you.
D: Ha! No one bothers with me… Being alone isn’t peaceful. I’ve never been so tormented. And you asked what do I want from life, well death has what I want.
F: Stop feeling sorry for yourself. I don’t want to hear this!
D: Then why are you here, my wife and child that isn’t why you’ve come? I don’t understand? What’s your purpose?
F: Tell me what happened?
D: …I don’t remember…there was a car accident…my head, it’s fuzzy memories.
F: You were driving?
D: Yes. My wife by beside, my daughter sitting in the back.
F: You crashed the car?
D: I must have.
F: You were going so fast, you swirved and span to the right, you looked in the rear mirror your head forced back to the head rest, you looked in the rear mirror and saw a clouded sky, and a sinking sun,… you saw Helena…
D: No! Don’t do this!
F: The bridge, you all fell so sudden.
D: All fell so sudden - I don’t want to listen! I drink to forget, to get the memories out my head, to hand them over to the alcohol. I ruined my life. I changed everything to forget is that what you want?
F: You must use this sadness.
D: It has no use but to rot me away.
F: It scares you, you need to feel it, embrace it, don’t deny it – it’ll never rest, you’ll never rest. I can sense the artist you have now become.
D: Artist? - What has that got to do with this, with anything? I’ve not drawn in so long.
F: People love tragedy, you should draw.
D: People? Who are these people? Happy people of course, who need a dose of someone else’s sadness to make them see how happy they are. I would never do anything for them, never be so cheap to exploit myself, degrade myself in something as meaningless as art and the artist! Ah- my headaches, like glass has shattered. Tell - what you want me to do? What’s your purpose?
F hands him the bottle.
F: It’s not that simple.
D: Well what am I suppose to say to you?
F: How about a proper compliment?
D: You’re no angel! A cruel spirit – that’s what you are! – or have I been so foolish to mistake a person dressed up…?
F: I myself prefer to dress down, it’s always best to put your shoes on last.
D: What are you? Why do you torment me?
F: You’re right, I am a spirit. I’m the green fairy. Inspiring artists since the 1800s. Sorry to deceive you, but now that we’re being honest I can help you, inspire you to what ever it is that you desire. Now tell me truly, what do you desire?
D: I want nothing! - Especially not from you.
F: You don’t mean that! Everyone wants – humans are animals without desires…
D: You mean we’re animals, with desires?
F: You need reason to live, to build your life back – I could be that inspiration.
D: What a nasty shadow – I can see straight through you. I could never take from you, I’d just get poison.
F: I’m not who you think I am. I want to help. I should have been straight with you to begin with. We need materials – you shouldn’t deny yourself, your feelings. You need to express yourself.
D: Why do you care so much? You seem so burdened with me?
F: I do care, I just went about it the wrong way. I want to help!
D: Yes, help yourself. I want you to go! I don’t need you.
F: You’re thinking about drinking. In three days from now it will be the anniversary of the car crash, and your daughter’s birthday.
D: How did you get into my head? I want you to stop harassing me!
F: Then stop this non-action and do something about it!
F could out hold alcohol bottle
D: Ok, I will
D picks up bottle, raises bottle and goes for fairy
F: What are you doing? You’re only hurting yourself.
D hits fairy, and at the same time D feels pain. Fairy laughs.
F: Don’t you get it?
D: No, no, no!
F: We’re not different…
D: No!
F: … we’re the same.
D: I’ve finally lost it - Laura always said I’d lose my mind to drink, and there it is I’ve got split personalities with a bloody …vain…ugly…green fairy.
F: Ugly?
F assesses body and hesitates, thinks about speaking.
D: You know what? -I know– I will get rid of you.
He pours a full bottle into a bin.
F: Well I never wanted you! What a waste! We could have gotten out of this place, and bettered ourselves. But I still don’t believe there’s nothing that you want – but no let’s just sit here and wait for …life to pour away.
D: That’s the spirit!
He smiles madly to himself. Tries to pat her shoulder, she shrugs him off.
D: Come now, who’s feeling sorry for themselves now?
F: Feel in control for now? How long will that last? ... Humour me – if you don’t have any desires, do you have any complaints? Come on give me something.
D: I thought your interest faded with dissatisfaction?
F: So maybe I am normal. Just come on give me something?
D: I told you, I don’t…
F: Just give me something. Anything…something small…
D thinks.
D: …my sleeping arrangements could be improved.
F: What’s wrong with them?
D (sarcastically): Well just look…look at the quality of newspaper I have to sleep on.
F: I’ll improve your situation. What do you want – hard hitting quality journalism? No more tabloids, I’ll get you the finest broadsheets there are.
D: Strange as it is, I think you and I are very different.
Fairy smiles.
F: Oh god, things were not meant to be this way. So what now? You think you can stop drinking?
D: I honestly don’t know. I guess I don’t want to be stuck in this limbo, to not remember, but not to forget. I need to do something, motivation! - there’s something new.
F: But you’re all alone and have never been so tormented?
D: I’m not all alone, I realise that now. I’m not all alone…Claire. You look so young, your face it’s been so long since I remembered, and there were such good memories– I didn’t even recognise you, my own wife… but I can’t keep you like this with me, it’ll take my life too.
F: You don’t….
D silences her, kisses her.
D: I know, I know. There was so much left unsaid.
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